The Story of When I Lost My Son
By Chris Cade on Oct 23, 2009 in Conscious Parenting
Since becoming self-employed in April of this year, one thing I’ve really come to enjoy is being able to spend more time with my almost 3 year old son, Quantum. He truly is a spiritual inspiration to me - whether it’s his innate nature to be totally present in the moment, or when he’s climbing play structures in ways that scare even me just a little bit (and I’m adventurous!), or when he’s running away from home.
Now about that last part…
If you’re a parent, you know there are two unalienable truths about toddlers. First, never never ever let them out of your sight - not even for 10 seconds. Secondly, if it’s quiet then you know that something has been destroyed, defaced, or has disappeared.
Well, a few months back, Quantum was playing just outside the door on the front porch for a little while his mother was doing something. She turned away for… oh about 10 seconds… and shortly thereafter noticed the house had become…
Quiet.
Nothing had been destroyed nor defaced, but our son had disappeared! Knowing his adventurous and curious nature, we immediately started looking around the neighborhood. Laura went to the park (one of Quantum’s favorite places), and I drove around a bit with the windows rolled down listening for a lost crying little boy just wishing to be found.
After about 10 minutes, Laura and I regrouped back at home to think about "Plan B." I figured if I didn’t hear him crying, that meant he was probably enjoying himself - since we already knew he wasn’t at the park, I figured I’d go look in a few places in the neighborhood that are generally forbidden to him (because of his devious nature - not out of any danger to him). I checked them out, and he wasn’t anywhere to be found.
I paused for a moment and silently prayed. I asked for higher guidance to bring me to him. Within less than a minute of that prayer, I look up to see an older woman walking alongside a suspicious looking small character riding a small toy tricycle.
It turns out, that Quantum had tried to go to the park but the woman encouraged him to stay in the neighborhood. For a little while, he had even played in the forbidden land where I had previously looked for him. However, in the moment I found him he was just enjoying a leisurely ride on his bike with his newfound friend.
Some parents might have scolded their child. Often when somebody else does something that scares us, or makes us feel out of control, we scold them. Our hope is that by scolding the person, that he or she will then conform to our desired behavior - and in the case of a child running away, our hope is that the child will learn not to run away. However, as we move further in our spiritual development is important to become conscious of the deeper lessons to be learned and how we affect others.
Jesus once said that we must become like children to enter the kingdom of Heaven. During Quantum’s time away, he clearly was living in Heaven - he was in complete trust and unity with his environment, he was engaging the world with curiousity and passion, and he exemplified courage, kindness, and joy.
If that’s not Heaven on Earth then I don’t know what else could be.
It became clear that our son was teaching us very profound spiritual lessons, simply by living as an example of what I aspire to embody. That’s why scolding him would have been hypocritical - scolding would have sent Quantum a very clear message that he can’t trust the world, and that qualities such as curiosity, passion, courage, kindness, and joy, are not welcome… we would have been punishing him for being exactly the kind of person this world needs more of.
So what did we do?

We made a new friend and enjoyed the bike ride home, where we played for a little while and ate breakfast while enjoying the sun coming through the windows in the early morning.
Laura and I also learned a few practical and spiritual lessons, and we laughed alongside this little enigma in our lives named Quantum.
As a parent, I draw upon many different influences to raise Quantum in a happy, healthy, and conscious way. I am extremely selective about which ‘parenting philosophies’ I adopt and use in his life, whether it be attachment parenting, unschooling, co-sleeping, unconditional parenting, just to name a few…
And I’m always conscious about how my own beliefs (conscious and unconscious) are affecting him. Though it’s very rare I find a parenting resource I truly want to share with others, when I do you can bet that it’s something worth taking a look at. And one such resource is Rhonda Ryder’s “Kids Awakening” website.
There she is giving away her ebook "The 7 Secrets of Sharing the Law of Attraction With Kids and Teens". I’ve read it already, and though Quantum is too young for me to ‘teach’ him verbally about some of the spiritual principles in our lives, that guide was helpful for me to look more closely at myself and how I can continue to teach him through example. It reminds me that even when he "runs away" there are greater forces at work for both Quantum and myself to learn from.
(though a lot of times it seems like Quantum is teaching me much more than I’m teaching him!)
The neat thing is, Rhonda’s work goes deeper than that. She’s giving "The 7 Secrets" away to introduce people to her more comprehensive "Inspired Parenting Course" which is based off of interviews she did with 5 teachers of the secret:
Dr. Joe Vitale, Marie Diamond, Bob Doyle, Dr. John DeMartini, and Mike Dooley (who by the way will be visiting Portland on Nov. 5th at Powell’s Books - and I definitely plan to be there!)
One thing I really like about Rhonda’s Inspired Parenting Course is that it, like Inscribe Your Life, points out that for spirituality to work effectively in our lives, we must be willing to work with both our conscious and unconscious beliefs.
It’s not enough to take action, if those actions are being undermined by limiting beliefs that are lurking in our subconscious. This is even more important as parents, since our actions directly and indirectly affect our children for their entire lives.
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3 Comment(s)
By Kevin on Oct 24, 2009 | Reply
Hi Chris,
Great story and I’m glad everything turned out alright. My children are older now, but I can remember those (fortunately) rare days when one would come up missing somewhere or someplace, so I can relate.
I had an experience yesterday where I was working for about 3 hours trying to figure out why something worked in one scenario and not in another similar with my new internet project. I was baffled and I stepped back and prayed and like you within seconds the correct answer was revealed to me. I was amazed.
I had been looking at all the differences that I had introduced because that’s what I thought needed to be in place and normally this would be true. However in this case, the program I was working with had a defect that caused it to work when it shouldn’t have in one scenario. When I used that same procedure for my other similar situations everything worked perfectly. I owed my findings to a higher power and I just wished I’d have asked sooner.
Keep up the great work you are doing Chris and G-d bless.
Kevin
Kevin´s last blog ..You Were Born For Greatness!
By Marketa on Oct 27, 2009 | Reply
Hi Chris,
very nice article and the other about the Stoves. I try to do some better parenting as well.
You were mentioning co-sleeping, that’s nice, because we are still sleeping with our six years old son Angel.
I wish you happy days with your son,
Marketa
By Paul on Nov 2, 2009 | Reply
Perhaps, as i have lost my son (at age 21 through divorcing his mother) i was hooked by the “lost my son” title, thought, “oh, my, lost through death? But the story starts with him at 3? Losing a 3-year-old? OiWeh!” (as death is the common meaning of “lost my son”), anyway, a mystery… interest piqued.
Well, i mean, i was looking for “spiritual stories” and maybe this is a spiritual as they get? (Anyway, i can’t find a button labeled **Spiritual_Stories**.)
Anyway, the story also brought up my own disappearance incident, having stopped at a schoolmates home to see his electric trains, coming home from kindergarten. The only memories are that Mother was very upset, i never did such again, hardly ever visited friends, don’t much have friends, played with electric trains into teenagehood, was (only) once spanked (age 6, for lying to my father about throwing Jimmy Hunsinger’s coat into the river) and remember no punishment for disappearing.
ANYWAY, i am glad the story was lighter than imagined, and also more “spiritual”.
Meanwhile, let’s try another story.