Recently, I shared with you about the Death of My Butterfly. That wasn’t the end of the story though. See, after all the butterflies had hatched my son wanted to start releasing them into the wild. He wanted them to be free.
My son wanted to help them get out of their birth environment. He recommended we lift them and help them. I had to explain to him why it was important that we let the butterflies leave when they were ready, and not just because they had come out of their chrysalises.
Just like an infant can’t care for itself right at birth, neither do butterflies. They have a process of emerging in which they gain the strength they need to move on. My son was respectful of this, and so we set the habitat out and left it open. Initially, none of the butterflies left. We brought it inside. Then at a later date, we took out out to the back table and left it open where four of the five butterflies decided to fly away.
The thing is, our own inner healing is just like my son’s impatience with wanting to release the butterflies. He simply wanted to see the end result. Similarly, we often want so badly to “feel better” (end result) that we will do anything to “fix” our problems. We jump from meditation to tapping to brainwave entrainment to Sedona Method to hypnosis, and so on and so forth… hoping that “the next thing” will be whatever it is we’re looking for to make us feel better.
It’s understandable. As pleasure-seeking-pain-avoiding creatures, that’s what we do. Unfortunately, just like butterflies, pushing ourselves may not always be the right time for our healing. In fact, sometimes that can actually deepen our trauma and make our problems worse. This is part of the reason I am such an advocate of developing personal presence.
Sometimes, the most compassionate thing we can do with ourselves is to acknowledge we don’t yet have the inner strength, tools, or resources to overcome a particular challenge (inner or outer) that we’re facing. Sometimes, presence (the “power of now”) gives us the awareness and attunement to know more effectively when the “right time” is for something. That could be the right time for taking a trip, having a difficult conversation, starting a new opportunity (business, class, group, etc), and our inner path of healing.
Like almost all of my guidance, this is a double-edged sword. There’s no sense in staying in a stuck, traumatized, difficult place when there are available resources and tools to help us heal, grow, and ultimately thrive.
Yet a butterfly that is helped out of its chrysalis will actually die. It *requires* the struggle for it to become a butterfly. But that struggle can only happen when the time is right and optimal. This leads us to the other side of the double-edged sword: Pushing ourselves to heal prematurely can cause great harm.
One of the reasons I offer many different resources, both of my own, and of different peoples’, is that different tools work for different people at different times in their lives. Rather than try everything I recommend (which I would NEVER recommend you do all of that at once), instead just be present, aware, and curious about whichever opportunities most resonate with you.
Some opportunities will arrive at the “right time” and you’ll know it was meant perfectly for you (like my wild dolphin retreat was for me). Others, you might be curious about. Others you might sense will be supportive in the future, but it isn’t the right time yet. Whatever it is, allow your presence and curiosity to lead you to what you need most in any given moment.
The difference is whether you’re driven from the mind’s perspective of what you “should” be doing to be “better”
If you’re allowing your personal presence and curiosity to lead you to the experiences and opportunities that you need most in a given moment…
Which could be a particular healing modality, program, or…
It could be something as simple as reminding you to go for a jog, take a swim, relax, eat a certain food, watch a movie, call a friend you haven’t spoken to in ages, or take a nap in the middle of the afternoon (one of my personal favorites).
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