My son is now 9, and for most of his life he -like many children- calls it like he sees it. Sometimes he’s got a pretty solid view on a situation, and other times his youthful innocence and lack of worldly knowledge come through.
No matter what though, he always seems to create some really memorable moments. Not because he’s trying to be funny, but precisely the opposite: Because he’s not.
Anyway, here’s a few conversations we’ve had over the last year that I thought you’d enjoy. If you look deeper than the surface, you’ll see there’s actually spiritual lessons to be learned.
Me: “It’s time to take your shower.”
My Son: “I don’t want to take a shower. I want to take a bath.”
“Okay, it’s time to take your bath.”
…Suddenly, he starts running laps across the entire house as fast as he can.
“It’s time to take your bath!”
He keeps running…
“IT’S TIME TO TAKE YOUR BATH!!!”
“Daddy, I’m trying to run so fast that I can’t hear you.”
Me: “When we get home, the first thing you need to do is brush your teeth.”
My Son: “Unless a meteor hits us.”
Me: “True. If a meteor hits us, we will be dead. So assuming a meteor doesn’t hit us before we get home, brush your teeth first.”
“Daddy – do you have any cavities?”
“No new ones. I have some from several years ago.”
“Do you have silver things in your mouth? Johnny has those.”
“No. I used to and I had them removed.”
“Because those are made with mercury and are toxic.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Mercury is bad for the brain.”
“OH! That’s why Johnny went to the office so much this week!”
I was about to leave on a trip to visit my then-girlfriend who lived in another state…
“Daddy, I’m going to miss you.”
“I know. And I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
“I wish you had a copy. That way you could go see her and still stay here and play with me. Don’t you wish you had a copy?”
“Yup. That would be cool! Then I could stop you from taking advantage of Grandpa and eating lots of junk food while I’m gone.”
“Daddy, you can go see her now. Go.”
My Son: “I use my anger to hit the golf ball hard.”
“Is there something specific that you’re angry about?”
“Yeah. That I can’t get the ball in the hole.”
(Welcome to golf, my son. Welcome to golf…)