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Pain and Suffering

Do People Who Suffer “Ask” For It?

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Ask Chris

Why must people suffer?Recently I posted on Facebook this thought of mine…

“Repeat after me… ‘I am responsible for my success in all areas of my life.'”

Many people repeated. A few added to it and edited to make it their own. And one person responded with a very important question:

“I wonder if we would encourage a starving African child to repeat this, or how about a prisoner at Auschwitz.

At some point I have to admit “what you resist persists” feels like I’m sticking my head in the sand.

At what point do we admit there is a hidden nefarious hand guiding many aspects of our lives?

The question really gets to the heart of many facets of our human experience. It goes deep into our psyches both unconsciously and consciously, and it shows up in different ways.

For example, it sheds light on one of the most common criticisms of the Law of Attraction:
“Why would starving kids in Africa attract this experience from birth? How did their beliefs make this a reality?”

I’ve explored this some, from many different perspectives, and I don’t have an exact answer. The reason is because although I’m human and subject to my own biases and conditioning, I do my best to teach and answer from a place of personal experience. I don’t have an experience that I can really say “From birth, I am confident (or not) that I attracted a particular experience”

What I can say is that we are all interconnected. What may feel right and true for one person may not feel that way for another person. There also seems to be some “Universal” Truths that, although may not sound exactly true for every experience, can often be “translated” and integrated in different aspects of our lives.

To follow the example question, we might instead have a starving child explore the possibility: “I am responsible for doing the best I have with the resources I have.” In this way, success can be redefined. In fact, I’m a huge advocate of letting go of our external definitions of success and redefining it terms relative to our inner experience. This would be more like the adage, “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.”

That’s a very very short answer. My personal advice though is to really reflect on a bigger question that is at the heart of being human:

“Why is there suffering in the world?”

Nobody is immune to suffering. It just turns out that people who are starving, facing extreme pain or illness, or in traumatic or horrifying situations seem –to us– to be comparatively worse off than people who are not in those situations.

But who are we to judge another person’s suffering?

I have heard many stories of people –children and adults– in horrifying situations and abject poverty who were “better off” than the people who came to help them.

Now I’m not advocating that we seek or condone horrifying things. Nor am I suggesting we just let people starve because “they chose this path.”

What I am suggesting is that we have MANY ways to view a situation, and it’s up to each of us, individually, to inquire with ourselves and see what we discover to be true about our own experiences and perceptions.

And while you’re at it, seriously, reflect on this question:

“How might our suffering, and the suffering of others, be beneficial for our world?”

Yes, I rephrased the question a little bit. After all…

If we can redefine success, why can’t we also redefine suffering?

Manifest A Miracle

Does The Cycle Of Darkness And Pain Ever End?

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Ask Chris

(Blog Post) Does the cycle of darkness and pain ever end?A friend wrote to me a while back in a private email:

"Wondering when, with all the work we are doing, we get to turn the light on and find only more light?”

In some ways, I feel like this is a trick question. Not because it's intended that way, but because the answer is multi-layered. It wasn't until I revisited this idea that I realized there's more than one way to look at this.

I have found in my experience it seems to be a circular relationship:

Illuminating more shadows creates more light, which then illuminate more shadows, which creates more light. Over time, the shadows become less and the light becomes more. At least that's how we perceive it to be.

For example, I had a couple of really powerful spiritual retreats at the end of 2012. They weren't "hard work" like many retreats have been for me. I was in a  very light-filled space that was congruent with the teachings… so I just filled up with more light.

It was basically like I was just amplifying and amplifying.


Life happened. And I saw a bunch of life experiences that have been challenging me to live and apply the teachings I experienced.

Thus the shadows came out. And as I've been working the shadows, there's also been more light.

In other words, sometimes spiritual insights and experiences really are just pure light. It's amazing and wonderful when things turn out this way.


The natural consequence of greater illumination is that the extra light brings out some of the more subtle, quieter, lurking shadows we might have missed every other time we shined our light.

Does this mean that we'll never reach a point where we perceive our experience as all light and no shadow?

Yes and no.

I'll share in more in a future email. However, I do think the word "perceive" is one that is worth reflecting on further.

Give it some thought. ๐Ÿ™‚

…Oh, and one thing that helps…

(a little tongue-in-cheek here)

Going through ridiculous super-trauma. Not that I recommend anybody seek trauma for its gifts…

But my Dark Night of the Soul in 2011 and 2012 really put a lot of things into perspective. I have noticed that things that used to bother me, that bother most people, that "should" be very upsetting just don't upset me anymore.

The experiences are just what they are, and when compared to my what I had been through, most difficulties in life just aren't worth getting upset about.

That is-ness… that okayness with how things are… that is the light coming through… the fruit of all those labors. It's from the shadows being illuminated so that more light could be seen.

If you or somebody you know is stuck in the grieving and pain of losing a loved one…

Tthen join my friend Anna Michelle's "Heart Healing Solutions" summit.  It's free, and in addition to dozens of phenomenal speakers, I'll also be sharing my experiences with overcoming grief.

Click Here For Free Heart Healing Solutions

Ask Chris: What Do We Need To Heal First?

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Ask Chris

Question MarkRecently I shared with you my thoughts on "A Different Way To Work With Intentions and Desires" and somebody replied to me:

"Chris are all negative or intrusive thoughts something hidden in the subconscious?  If so can we get rid of them, or do we keep continuing to find what our desire is and then maybe our thoughts will change.  What needs to be healed first?"

The most important thing to understand is that negative thoughts are actually conscious.

If they weren't, then we wouldn't consciously recognize them as negative. ๐Ÿ™‚ They do have roots in the unconscious, though.

Yes, we can overcome negative thinking through many methods. One of which is to continue focusing what we want (even when we have negative thoughts trying to take us away from what we want).

Another method is to use subconscious discovery techniques (such as my Liberate Your Life program) to uproot the original causes of those negative thoughts.

There are also many possible ways to sidestep the negative thoughts such as prayer, meditation, EFT, EMDR, brainwave entrainment, and more.

As for what needs healing first – it depends on the person. Everyone person's path is unique. Every person resonates with different approaches to personal growth. And different things work more effectively for each person.     

I personally to try lots of different approaches to subconscious reprogramming. I trust that any of them individually, or in combination, will help me achieve my desired goals.

Rather than asking myself, "Where do I start first?" instead I simply start *somewhere* can keep continuing to try new things. In my personal experience, where to start is not nearly as important as just starting something and maintaining intentions for a positive outcome.
The first piece of advice I always give though is to start with a regular daily meditation practice (such as the two that I teach within Liberate Your Life).

Meditation is a solid foundation that supports *every* approach for healing, overcoming negative thinking, and every possible change a person might want to make in his or her life. ๐Ÿ™‚

Not Getting What You Want? Just Make Other People Change

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Ask Chris

The other day, I received the following email….

Hi Chris!

I went through your blog post of "are you sick and tired of tolerating people". I agree with what you have written in your message about doing some inner work. Accepting the way people are is another key but then what if we go on putting our efforts and then also the other people's attitude does not change (we know it will not change) then what we need to do continue putting our efforts.

Sometimes what happens is what makes other people happy is giving up our me-time and always be their from morning to night for finishing their tasks. and this is what they want us to do. How does one do inner work in such cases? Do you think we can change such people by continuously doing inner work and being nice with them over a long period of time? in case of our job we can resign but we cannot isolate our family members.

Middle FingerBefore I get to the "how to" part of this message, I just want to say that it is never easy to make significant changes — especially when we have difficult life circumstances. Those circumstances can be financial, as well as personal (like in the example above).

Sometimes our lives are seriously very painful, and it takes every ounce of attention we have just to wake up in the morning and get out of bed. I know. I've been there.

There are ALWAYS things we can do to make meaningful changes and progress in our lives. And even in my Dark Night of the Soul, I was doing things every day to change my inner and outer circumstances. It wasn't easy. Not at all. And it was necessary.

With that in mind, the first thing that I recommend that you read (or re-read) my recent message titled, "The Risks of Changing Your Life." In it, I talk about some of the outcomes that can happen when we change our lives and do inner work. If necessary, read the message every day until some fo the key insights start to sink in.

Secondly, and this is IMPORTANT…

Many people have a false belief about changing their lives.

By "many," I'm really referring to almost the entire world.  If you can flip upside-down this false thinking, you'll transform your life rather quickly. Maybe uncomfortably. And quickly.

Are you ready for it?

Stop expecting other people or situations to be a certain way so that you can be the way you want to be.

This is one of the biggest reasons people stay stuck in disempowering situations, relationships, thought patterns, and bad habits. They're always waiting for somebody or something "out there" before they can make the changes they want.

Sometimes this is a very obvious thing, such as the question above: A person who says to him or herself, "When other people give me the time I want, THEN I can start doing inner work."

This thought pattern shows up in our lives in different ways…

  • "When my kids are finally grown up and out of the house, THEN I will do what I really want to do with my life."
  • "When my work doesn't give me so many hours, THEN I will start meditating / working out / building my business / dating."
  • "When I have enough money, THEN I can start enjoying my life."
  • "When I am in the extraordinary relationship of my dreams, THEN I will start exercising, dressing well, and can be happy.

I can also show up in subconscious self-sabotaging ways. These are examples of the voice you "don't" hear, but may be driving certain procrastination kinds of inactions…

  • "When I am sick, THEN I will start eating healthy foods."
  • "When my computer breaks down, THEN I will start backing up all of my information."
  • "When my car breaks down, THEN I'll do the mainenance I could have done to prevent it from breaking down."
  • "When other people recognize my gifts and talents, THEN I'll share them with the world."
  • "When I love myself fully, THEN I'll start dating again."

Whether it's conscious or unconscious, we get stuck in the backwards thinking that when the outer circumstances of our lives change, only THEN can we actually experience the life we want.

This is completely backwards thinking. It's putting the proverbial "cart before the horse." It's making excuses and projecting your perceived inadequacies onto the rest of the world so you don't have to face this very harsh yet empowering reality…

The biggest limitation in your life is you.

While it's true there are sometimes situations where one foot does have to go in front of the other, that doesn't apply to most situations in life we want to change.

Sure it seems that way. But it's not. All you have to do is look for examples and stories of people who overcame situations that are similar to yours to realize: If they can do it with their outer-world limitations, you can too.

The reason we hold onto limiting stories is because we don't want to feel that sense of inadequacy (and sometimes helplessness) that comes along with this realization: We could have had what we wanted, we can have what we want, if we're willing to take total responsibility for our lives (and be uncomfortable).

Like I said before though, this kind of self-limiting thought can show up in a lot of ways. Sometimes sneaky ways.

One of the easiest way to recognize if it is showing up for you is if you find yourself thinking about getting what you want "someday" when the outer circumstances of your life look the way you think they ideally "should."

But here's the rub…

Someday rarely ever comes.

Dancing The Pain Away

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Ask Chris

BallerinaA while back, a reader asked me the following question: 

"Thank for emails. Dancing is a physical expression of the body by showing one's joy, happiness or of a given emotion. Some dance for money and other dance generally because their emotion is excited.
The question is that, why can't we dance when we get sad?

The second question derives from the first: CAN DANCING CURE SADNESS?"

There's no reason why we can't dance when we're sad. In fact, if that's how the body feels compelled to move then I fully encourage it. Whether or not the reason is happy or sad is irrelevant. What is relevant is that the dancing arises from a natural desire for the body and spirit to express themselves.
The body has incredible wisdom about how, when, and where it wants to move. If we can pause and be present long enough to listen to our bodies, we'll discover an incredible amount of wisdom that was previously hidden to us.
As such, dancing absolutely can help us work through difficult emotions. In fact, any authentic experience and expression of ourselves can do this. To piggy-back off my answer to the first question, when we experience and express ourselves fully and authentically, we release whatever energy is stuck within us.
That energy could be "happy" or "sad" energy, as well as every other energy we can experience as human beings. No matter what, the energy wants to be expressed. By expressing it (such as through dancing), you free yourself from the limitations that occur by "holding onto" the stuck energy within yourself.

Allowing that process to naturally unfold will allow your inner wisdom to arise.

From that wisdom, you'll naturally take actions that help you transform your more difficult and painful emotions into postive, empowering, pleasurable emotions.

Though we're talking about dancing, this really applies to any form of authentic self-expression. It's not important what you do… what matters is that you maintain self-awareness while you do it. My program Liberate Your Life helps you do that.

And if you find yourself having difficulty taking action, another option is to "Force the Issue." In my recent article in the "Law of Attraction Key," I expand on this in more detail. Click here and read that article.

Ask Chris: How to Solve Your Problems (Part 2)

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Ask Chris

Missing Puzzle PieceLast week I shared with you my perspectives on “How to Solve Your Problems,” and I received some interesting feedback and questions. If you haven’t yet had a chance to read that blog post, I recommend you read it before going further.

Today I thought I’d share how one of those interactions went on Facebook. Annette wrote…

“What if the person or persons are toxic, blames everything on you, or is always criticising you (dumb, never be good for anything) or blaming (my problems are yours because you won’t fix them or give me $). Is my perception of that wrong? If I view it differently what will happen? What about verbal abuse?”

Those are interesting questions. Because we all are unique individuals with unique experiences, only you will know the real answers to those questions in your own life if you are able to completely view it differently (including both conscious and subconscious beliefs).

One thing I have observed in my own experience…

As I change, the relationships I have with others changes as well. Other people respond differently to my deeper sense of Strength, Courage, Willpower, Peace, Presence, Joy, Authenticity, and other qualities.

Some people are melted by the peace and Courage and come closer to me… they open up. Some people are inspired, encouraged, or calmed. Other people distance themselves.

One thing is certain: There are still people who judge me, and their judgments don’t hurt as much or even at all.

Thank you! I didn’t think about my detaching (or actually my lack of it) as being the answer. Maybe after 45 years my mindset was stuck! If it effects me, maybe that means some part of me agrees with them. Ouch, that hurts! Growing pains! I think this is a major step in my life. I can’t thank you enough!

Yes. Most of the time when you feel upset by something somebody says about you, there’s a part of you (often subconscious) that does agree with them. A really simple example is:

If you were the best in the world at something ~ for example a World Champion Pool Player ~ and somebody said “You’re pretty bad at pool” you’d just shrug them off.

On the other hand, if you’re an aspiring pool player and somebody said the same thing, you might think, “Wow. They might be right. Maybe I should just give up now and save myself unnecessary pain in the future.”

We do the same thing with emotions.

If you know that you’re deeply rooted in love, and somebody says you’re “Not very loving” then it’s pretty easy to recognize that it’s the OTHER person projecting their lack of love onto you. They don’t feel loving, so they view the entire world (including you) as not being loving.

On the other hand, no matter how loving you may be, if somebody says that you are “Not very loving” ~and you believe that not being loving is a “bad” thing~ then you’ll likely feel sad, upset, unloving, etc as a result of that person’s comment.

So yes you’re right. As long as some part of you (conscious or subconscious) agrees with negative judgments from other people, then you will feel emotional pain.

Since I’m on this path with you, that happens to me sometimes. It’s not fun when I notice that I feel judged (or judgmental). Fortunately, I also recognize that it is an opportunity for me to recognize where I’m still identifying with negative judgments. That awareness enables me to shift my attention and focus to the inner work I need to do to become more wholly integrated.

To circle back to the original question from Annette…

When you change your inner world, your experience of the outer world will also change. Both are inextricably linked. So much so that many people will even respond differently to you than they did prior to you making inner changes.

And when that happens, there’s an incredible opportunity for more “problem solving” using new states of consciousness (awareness).

Ask Chris #8: The Devil’s Plan For Destruction

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Ask Chris

DestructionAfter sharing the story “The Devil’s Plan for Destruction” by Guy Finley (one of my favorite authors!), I received an interesting response.

Usually I don’t respond to questions around coaching and clarification (that’s what the “Ask Chris” feature is for on my website), but because this person is a Liberate Your Life program participant I decided to make an exception.

After exchanging a few emails with this person, I realized that more people would benefit from what I shared. So… in today’s “Ask Chris” I’ve decided to share that email exchange with you. First though, is this story from Guy Finley that was the catalyst for the conversation…

“The Devil’s Plan For Destruction”
– by Guy Finley

The chief devil calls together every possible evil entity that is in range of his magnetic voice and says, “How can we interfere up there in the world that dwells between ours and the Light we despise? What can we do to further deceive human beings? We must keep them living in the dark, unaware of the Light that wants to release them from our influence. I want something so evil, so sinister, that no one will know what happened. Who’s got a good idea?”

That instant the flames of all the little imps gathered there in the smoldering dark go dim; they’re afraid of their leader, who will fry them for failing. A day later, as planned, they all return with a few ideas, although nothing spectacular. Then, out of nowhere, one tiny imp hops on the shoulder of the chief devil and whispers something in his ear. A second later, and *kaboom* flames shoot out of every pore of the chief devil as he shouts, “Ah! I have the plan in hand!”

He looks around at all of his lieutenants, each of whom is assigned to certain individuals on Earth, and gleefully instructs them: “I want you to go up there and slowly spread among the sleeping masses the idea of ‘tolerance.’ Do whatever it takes to succeed. Convince them that this idea is their own, and that they should start teaching that learning to tolerate each other is the same as loving one another. Oh yes! This is my best deception yet! It’s a real killer!”

To which this Liberate Your Life program participant writes to me…

“I am not too sure that I grasped the meaning of the story, but to quote Sir William Shakespeare: “There is no darkness, but ignorance.”

Here’s what I wrote back…

The meaning is within the word “tolerance.”

Most people PRETEND to like (or love) others, when really they’re just “putting up with” a person because they feel they have to.

This creates a split in the heart ~ people feeling negatively towards a person, yet acting nicely. Tolerance lacks integrity because it pretends to express kindness when kindness is not actually felt.

In other words, tolerance is a form of subconscious (and sometimes conscious) hypocrisy.

And then here’s what that person wrote back to me…

“I agree with your argument about “tolerance” being a form of subconscious hypocrisy, but there again, in my experience at least, it is often the most practical or pragmatic mode of behavior… especially with people that we do not particularly like or care for… to avoid confrontations and conflicts from arising. In other words, “live and let live.”

And here was my final reply:

In childhood, “tolerance” was necessary for survival. As adults, we perceive it as necessary because we’re unwilling to engage in confrontations or conflicts that would disrupt our life significantly.

In other words, we continue to be hypocrites because the discomfort of conflict and disruption is greater than the inner drive to align our conscious and subconscious minds with our actions.

For some people integrity in all aspects of life becomes more important than comfort… and when that happens, it’s both scary and incredibly transformative.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this most recent edition of “Ask Chris.” If you have a question you’d like me to consider answering, click here to write it on my website or send me a private email.

I usually won’t reply personally, but if your question is something that more people would benefit from then I may publish it and my answer in a future edition of “Ask Chris.”

Anger, God, Poverty, And Meditation (Ask Chris #7)

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Ask Chris

  Ask Chris

There's always far more questions coming in through the "Ask Chris” link than I can possibly answer. Today I've decided to answer three different ones — ranging in topics from God and Meditation, to Anger and Poverty.

If you've got a question you'd like answered, just click the link at the bottom of this email and I may respond to yours in a future "Ask Chris" email. ๐Ÿ™‚

Now for the questions…

How does one actually serves the lord in poverty? Is poverty an indication that you are not in the lord?

My Answer:
Some of the most loving, God-serving people, have lived in total poverty. God does not choose favorites, he doesn't choose the rich or the poor… he loves us all. He loves us not because we are good or bad, not because we are man or woman, not because we are rich or poor… he loves us because we are his children, we are people all deserving of his love.
Regardless of our financial situation, we serve God because of who we are. A person without money can still be kind and loving. In fact, many times people without money discover that while they may not have money to give, they have their heart, their love, and their kindness to give. Even a smile can help a stranger.

Also I recommend you take a moment and watch today's "Inspirational Video Of The Week."

I am doing meditation from several years. I have done many meditation technique like vipasana watching the breath iinhale and exhale and chanting om. But after meditation I feel aggresiveness and sometimes i become angry. So I leave the meditation. But i want to meditate.

Can you brief me during meditation what happens in body.

My recommendation is to always time your meditations. Often people like to quit meditation when it goes bad or keep going when it feels good. I even specifically devoted a lesson to this topic in my free "Getting Things Changed" mini-program. But the problem with that is that even if you continue when it feels good, eventually the meditation takes a turn for the worse and will eventually feel bad. The lack of boundaries is actually preventing you from having an effective meditation practice.
Instead, always set a timer for your meditations. Maybe it is just 5 minutes. Or 10 or 15. You can decide. But set a timer and do not stop meditating until the timer completes. Then when the timer completes, even if your meditation is going perfectly, stop your meditation.
The more you practice having consistent boundaries with your meditation, the more you will also experience consistent boundaries when you are not meditating.
As for your question about the physical body…
Every meditation style affects the body differently. However, when you are meditating there are many inner voices (like ego and Inner Critic) which do NOT want you to meditate. This is the part of you that is bringing up your aggressiveness and anger.
As long as you continue to meditate regularly, and specifically time your meditations, the aggressiveness and anger will fade. It may take some time; many people are not used to timing their meditations. It is valuable and I encourage you to stick with it.

The question I have is what questions we need to ask ourselves? Or what questions do I need to ask myself?  I have taken many many courses, all of which claim to  have the process or the answer. Yet, the answers and even the questions elude me. Most of the time I don’t know what I want and what I should be asking. I have several advanced degrees but after 20 years of “trying” I am facing burn out. The passion is gone. And, being in my 50s, I know I don’t have “forever” anymore.
One course states that seeking answers and certainty contributes to the problem. So, what do I need to be asking?  I want to be radically honest and go deeper, but I feel like I am dancing around the real issues.

Note: After sending this question to me — but before I had a chance to answer — the person joined my Liberate Your Life program. This was one of the few times I responded personally to an "Ask Chris" question, and I am now sharing with you publicly the answer I wrote.

Since I saw you just purchased Liberate Your Life, I think you'll be really pleased to know this program is ALL about asking yourself the right kinds of questions. ๐Ÿ™‚
It's going to be very different than other courses you've been a part of, and I am really looking forward to hearing about your experiences as you work through the program.
As long as you follow the program, you'll stop dancing around the issues and start dancing -with- them. You're going to go deeper, and your heart will thank you for it. Most people never ask the right questions because they either don't know, or their Inner Critic won't let them.

Liberate Your Life has answers to both of those.

If you're curious about my Liberate Your Life program, I recommend you first join my complimentary "Getting Things Changed" mini-program to see if Liberate Your Life might be a good fit for you.

"Getting Things Changed" is a good introduction to some of the deeper concepts in the program, as well as a candid look at some of the inner and outer obstacles that prevent us from living up to our greatest potential:

Click Here Now To Learn More

Ask Chris #6: Desperately Seeking Revenge

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Ask Chris

  Dagger of Revenge

Last year, somebody wrote to me on Facebook the following question (edited to remove personally identifiable details)…

Hi Chris,

Would you please help me? I'm a businessman and a few years ago I started a new business with two other partners. They've started to steal from me and lie.

My mind wants to teach them a lesson, but my heart is on the spiritual side. Sometimes I feel I'm battling between my mind and soul. I am deeply disturbed by what they've done, and it causes me great pain.

Should I take revenge?

That is a very difficult situation, and when dealing with dishonest people there are usually very few ideal solutions. Most solutions with dishonest people often involve some sort of conflict and/or loss, and this can be extra dis-heartening.

There are some things you can do though to get a clearer picture of the situation:


Bring your greatest spiritual teachers and examples into heart and mind, and ask yourself how you think they might handle the situation.


Pause for a few minutes in quiet contemplation, ideally focused meditation. Then sense into your heart and ask your heart what it wants. Be sure not to ask it "Should I do this or that" but instead just ask it what it wants.

Your heart has great wisdom, and it may take you in a direction you have not already thought of. The heart has reasons for which reason knows not why.


Take some time to yourself in nature with no distractions – no cell phones or any communications whatsoever. Just spend 5 or 10 hours alone in nature. Often much wisdom can be discovered when we allow ourselves to be in harmony with our surroundings… and that happens much more easily in nature than in our familiar home / work environments.

I receive messages like this all the time, and unfortunately I'm not able to answer every single one personally. That said, if you have a life-coaching kind of question for me then please click here and ask – if your question is something that other people can relate to and benefit from the answer, I may answer it in an upcoming issue of "Ask Chris."

Ask Chris #5: 5 Quick Tips To Manifest More Money

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Ask Chris

  Manifesting Money

After I wrote my recent message "What If Manifesting Was Simple?" Ana wrote to me…

Hello Chris!

I am one of your most fervent readers. You have really changed my life with all your comments and people you have recomended. Thank you!

I have a problem with this money manifesting.

I can visualize and work with abundance in every way mentally and emotionally. But when it comes down to spending I freeze, and I keep on counting every penny.

Should I be spending according to the way I want to manifest even before it actually does manifest?

In all other aspects of my life I am seeing miracles but when it comes to money I still freeze.


Dear Ana,

First of all, I am grateful that my work has helped you and that you've found value in the resources that I recommend!

While the answer to your question is one that requires a lot more than I can write in an email, the short answer is that somewhere in your past history there are valid reasons why spending was "not good."

Maybe as a child your family did not have much money, or perhaps there was something traumatic like a parent losing his/her job and then you went from having lots of money to a little bit. Those are some examples, and they may not be true for you. Or maybe even if your family had lots of money, you had parents who said "We have to save. We don't have enough" or "Money doesn't grow on trees" or other similar disempowering phrases.

What is likely true is that you had 1 or more emotionally powerful experiences where it became clear to you that it was 'not okay' to spend money. When you look candidly at your past, you may discover exactly what these experiences were. It also might not be powerful experiences, but rather, many many many small ones consistently sending you the "not okay to spend" message.

To break past your blockages around spending money, your work is to heal those experiences and realize that even though they may have been true in the past, they are not true now.

As you have pointed out ~ you HAVE the money to spend. The difference is in your mindset. One piece of advice I heard, which I like and practice, is to be mindful that I can buy most of the things that I personally want (in my heart). I am capable, and if I needed to, I could earn additional money or even borrow it.

Even though I ~can~ buy most things I want (within reason), I ~choose~ not to buy them because it's not the wisest way to spend my money in that given moment.

Like I said, this topic is one that takes a lot more than just an email to go into…

So here's a few quick tips to get you started:

  1. Look at those places in your history where you received negative / lack / non-abundant messages about money. Then invest your energy in letting go of those messages (you may need help from a coach, workshop, or comprehensive program).
  2. When you see something you want to buy, remind yourself that if you really really wanted to, you could buy it… and that you CHOOSE not to buy it at this time.
  3. Always keep some money in your wallet. This way every time you look in your wallet, you are reminded that you do have money. To go a step further, if you have larger bills then carry some of those with you. The larger the bills the better, as this is an everyday reminder of your abundance.
  4. Make a regular habit of donating and/or sharing your money with others. Consider leaving slightly larger-than-average tips for service people, leaving tips when you normally wouldn't, or giving a few coins to a homeless person. The point of this is to remind yourself that even when you give, you still have enough remaining. It's not relevant whether you give one penny, a dollar, or ten thousand dollars… the act of giving money away psychologically counteracts the "lack" mindset that you are working with.
  5. Occasionally, consider making a "Stretch" spend. This is where you literally are acting "as if" you already have the financial abundance you desire even if you don't think you have that money. Don't do it just any time though… only do it when you have a really deep heart's wish for whatever you intend to spend that money on. Sometimes acting "as if" can be a catalyst for attracting money from unexpected places.

Like I said before though, there's a LOT more I could write on this (and I will). For now though, I believe that these tips will help you shift your money mindset away from "lack" and into "abundance."

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