guy-finley-breaking-dependency

Stuck In An Abusive Relationship

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Spiritual Development

A lady goes to work at a large department store and she's friends with somebody in a another department who she doesn't know very well, but is drawn to her. You know how you can just meet somebody and like them immediately.

But over a short period of time this one lady begins to notice that the other lady is getting more and more solemn and depressed. And finally, even though they have never really spoken, she walks over and says:

"Hi. I'm Ruth and we smile at each other from time to time. I hope I'm not prying into your life, but I could tell that something is wrong. Would you mind sharing it with me? Maybe it would be better if we talked about it."

"Yeah, I'll tell you what the deal is. I'm stuck in an abusive relationship."

"Oh," Ruth says, "listen to me. Don't you put up with it for one second. Don't you stay in any abusive relationship. No matter what, don't you stick with it."

"No, I don't think you understand," says the other lady…

"You see, I live all by myself. And there's nobody else in my life but me."

This story is from one of my spiritual teachers, Guy Finley. He's a true master storyteller, and one of the things I love about his programs is that he uses the power of stories to show us deep truths about ourselves.

Read on for another story from him…


And before you do, this is just a quick reminder that on Monday I shared with you his "Breaking Dependency" program and a lot of people are already enjoying it.

It's all about how we can break our unwanted habits…

Whether it's alcohol, smoking, drugs, gambling, overeating, harmful relationship patterns, overindulgence in sex, incessant anxiety, impulsive spending, insatiable ambition, fear of failure, chronic clutter, procrastination…

Literally any habit at all that you want to be free from.

Click Here To Learn more About "Breaking Dependency"



And now for "This Time It'll Be Different…"

There are two friends and one of them is a traveling salesman who has to go out on the road every two or three weeks and sometimes he's even gone for 3 months at a time. After one of these lengthy trips, he comes back and he drives back into his little city, and while driving he sees a sign over a store that says 'Custom cabinets by Curt.'

"That's Curt's place. Custom cabinets? What in the heck's going on?" he thinks to himself. So he stops the car and he walks in and says, "Curt. Since when did you become a maker of custom cabinets?"

Curt looks at him and says, "Well, you know. I did try for a while making custom chairs, as you know when you left, but it just didn't work out so well."

"Well why not, Curt? Didn't have any business?"

Curt says, "Well, I guess you can say that."

"Well, what do you mean 'I guess?'"

"I discovered I don't have any woodworking skills.

His friend slaps himself on the forehead and says, "But Curt. To build custom cabinets takes woodworking skills."

Curt looks at his friend like he's stupid, and he says, "Yeah. But this time I'm hoping that things will be different."



If any part of you is hoping "this time it will be different" then check out Guy's "Breaking Dependency" program. It's very reasonably priced, and you're sure to get some great insights out of it. :)

I've loved Guy's stories for over half a decade – and I am always grateful to share his work with others. Since I've got this one loaded on my phone, I'm going to give it another listen.

** Click Here To Start "Breaking Dependency" **
4 Simple Steps to Overcoming Procrastination

4 Simple Steps to Overcome Procrastination

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Spiritual Development

For so long I identified with being a "Reluctant Hero." Life threw me curveballs, and I'd hit home runs. That worked well except for one fundamental problem…

In order to thrive, I had to be put through difficult tests. I hadn't developed the capacity to forge ahead in life fiercelessly. I was always waiting for external circumstances to force me to change.

And they did.

There was literally a major event that had to happen before I could know what it meant to truly live. I had to be severely betrayed and traumatized to understand the real risks of reluctance.

Until that incident, I didn't realize that my reluctance was costing me my life. I held myself back in almost every way.

Nobody could see it from the outside. I was succeeding like I always did. It seemed like anything I touched turned to gold. Outside, everybody saw the hero. Inside though, I was dying a slow death.

My true potential was withering away. Reluctance was costing me happiness and my well-being. Unconsciously, I was scared that if I went for what I really wanted, I would be crushed if I didn't get it. In relationships, I settled for the tattered remains of broken hearts because it felt safer than the risk of a painful rejection.

The thing is, I didn't realize how much of my reluctance had nothing to do with others and everything to do with myself. When we get right down to it, most reluctance is a cover for how we reject our inner experiences.

What we do is identify with our limited ways of being. By holding onto the familiar state of reluctance, we quietly reject our incredible potential. In most situations, hiding behind our reluctance feels safer than possibly opening up the pain of old wounds, and even scarier, taking risks that could give us new ones. The reluctance prevents us from making the necessary changes we need to live a fulfilling life.

The thing is, there's never going to be a better time to make changes than now.

"Sometime" is never going to come as long as you're waiting for something outside of yourself to happen.

Harriet Beecher Stowe supposedly wrote Uncle Tom's Cabin with just 10 minutes a day. Chris Gardner was homeless and shirtless when he showed up for an interview at a prestigious investment firm. And neither of those people sat and waited for life to happen to them. They engaged their dreams while living their very full and challenging lives. They also did it one step at a time.

You can too.

The key is to break your reluctance down into such small steps that it takes more effort for you to stand still than it does for you to take action.

Here's a quick 4-step process you can use to make this happen:

  1. Next time you find yourself thinking, "if only" or "I will do it after this other thing happens," write down exactly what it is you want and what you're expecting to happen before you can have what you want.
     
  2. For each item you listed, write down why you as many ways you can think of that it might be possible, even if "the other thing" you're waiting for never happens.
     
  3. Look at your list and find the easiest or fastest thing you can do. Then go do it.
     
  4. Repeat step 3 as much as you can.

By following this simple process, you'll force your mind into a creative problem-solving action mindset. You'll also create momentum that will progressively reprogram your mind to take action proactively.

So what Will You Do With Your Future? :)

Star Light, Star Bright

Star Light, Star Bright (The NEW Version)

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Spiritual Development

A few weeks ago while I was walking outside at night, I did as I always do…

I looked up at the Heavens and began my silent prayer: "Star Light, Star Bright… First Star I See Tonight."

In mid-prayer, I remembered something that Napoleon Hill had written in his virtually unknown book, "Outwitting the Devil."

**NOTE: If you haven't heard of this book of his from 1938 (just after he wrote "Think And Grow Rich," it's because until 2012 Hill and his successors BARRED anybody from ever publishing it. It was believed to be too controversial, and the insights shared might be too threatening to our society.

The whole book is a dialogue in which Napoleon Hill manages to get the Truth out of the Devil… so that Hill and everyone who comes into contact with him, can use it against the Devil… to outwit the devil.

Or in other words, to live an amazing life. :) In the book, there's a passage about prayer which really got me thinking:


"Since becoming better acquainted with my 'other self,' my way of praying is different from what it was before. I used to go to prayer only when facing difficulty. Now I go to prayer before difficulty overtakes me, when possible. I now pray, not for more of this world's goods and greater blessings, but to be worthy of that which I already have. I find that this plan is better than the old one.

“Infinite Intelligence seems not at all offended when I give thanks and show that I am grateful for the blessings which have crowned my efforts. I was astounded, when I first tried this plan of offering a prayer of thanks for what I already possessed, to discover what a vast fortune I had owned without being appreciative of it.”

Outwitting the Devil



There's a lot somebody can take away from that passage (and all of Outwitting the Devil) and apply to his or her own life.

For me, I took it in a slightly different direction and it's affected my "Star Light" prayer 100%.

Here's my new version…

"Star Light, Star Bright.
First Star I See Tonight.
Wish I May. Wish I Might.
Give This Wish I Wish Tonight."


Image © Depositphotos.com/hasloo

What If Your Intuition Is All f*$#@d Up?

What If Your Intuition Is All F*$#@d Up?

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Spiritual Development

Wendy wrote me the other day asking…

"Here's something for you a lot of coaches don't address:

A lot of coaches talk about developing your intuition as if the only thing stopping you from using it is your ability to hear it. But what if your intuition is, well, detuned? As in, when something inside you urges you to a particular course of action, logic tells you something else (or nothing at all), and it turns out to be the wrong course?"

When I was in the corporate world, I was heavily involved in software testing at one point. For years, my job was to do two things:

(1) See if software worked the way it was supposed to

(2) Try to break software by doing everything it's not supposed to

I approach personal development the same way. I test stuff. I see what works. I see what doesn't. Then I relay what I learn to you.

This way you're not getting "hand-me-down" teachings, you're getting the benefit of my direct experience.

More importantly than that, though, I encourage you to test what works for you in your own life. That's because no matter how much I test teachings, what I test is through my lens of experience.

And the greatest gift you can give yourself is seeing what is true for YOU. Uniquely you.

With this perspective in mind, my advice to Wendy is simply this:

Keep a journal. Every time you hear your intuition, take note of what you hear. Then take an action. See if the action produces the results in alignment with your intuition.

The reason this is so important is because every sense we have (including our 6th sense) is filtered through the lens of our Being. Our physical and psychological filters control what we see.

This is a literal fact. Perception is determined by our brains. Our eyes have blind spots and our mind fills them in (I show this unquestionably in one of my Liberate Your Life exercises).

Therefore, it's entirely possible that what you *think* is your intuition, is in fact, "detuned" or just entirely f*$#@d up. By keeping a journal, you begin to sort out what is actually true for you.

For example, how did I learn to trust my intuition?

In my early 20's, it would tell me things that were not logical. My mind rebelled and would do the opposite. Every time I listened to my mind and silenced my intuition (even though I didn't know "what" it was), I got totally screwed over.

Bad stuff happened when I didn't listen to my intuition. So I got the message and realized to just listen to it, even if it didn't make sense to me.

That was my experience. Yours may be different. Don't take my word for ANY of this. Don't take my word for anything. Just take what I say with a grain of salt and then ruthlessly test it yourself.

Hard Times

Hard Times

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Spiritual Development

A man was selling oranges in the middle of a road. He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers. He put some signs along the road and spent the whole day praising the flavor of his wares.

Everyone bought from him and the man thrived. With the money he placed more signs on the road and began to sell more fruit. Business was growing fast!

One day his son – who was educated and had studied in a big city – asked him:

"Father, don't you know that the world is going through very hard times? The economy of the country is in an awful state!"

Worried by this, the man reduced the number of signs and began to sell fruit of inferior quality because it was cheaper. Sales slumped immediately.

"My son is right," he thought. "Times are very hard."

– Thanks for this storie goes to Paulo Coelho, NY Times best-selling author of The Alchemist, and whose books have sold over 150 million copies worldwide

Do you ever have that gnawing feeling that something's missing…

That there has to be more to life than this?

The newest book by NY Times bestselling authors of The Passion Test, my friend Janet Attwood and her best friend and business partner Chris Attwood, is for people who have that feeling.

AND today I'm hooking you up with a FREE printed physical copy! :)

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(You just pay shipping & handling)

Paulo Coelho recently wrote this about it…

"Your Hidden Riches is a book that will give you the tools to unlock the mysteries and joys of life."

Have you ever asked yourself these questions?

Why do I feel so overwhelmed?

Why aren't I happier and more fulfilled?

Why do I procrastinate and never seem to move forward?

What am I doing wrong?

If so, this new book is for people like you who recognize that personal development training just isn't enough. You've realized that you need to go to a deeper level to discover the purpose of your life and create a life that feels meaningful.

If You're At That Point, Then Click Here

Learning To Just Take It

Learning to “Just Take It” << Should You?

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Spiritual Development

A lot of us unfortunately have experiences of being "run over." :(

Maybe it's an overbearing boss or parent, perhaps a coach pushing us, or maybe a partner who has unrealistic expectations.

And sometimes we might believe that we should "just take it." We might believe that keeping the peace is better than rocking the boat. Maybe that's true. Maybe it isn't. Only Presence has that answer.

That's not what I'm writing about today though…

Before I get to what I want to say about "just taking it," I have two quick reminders / FYIs for you. :)

<< First >>

TODAY is the 4-hour live teleclass with my friends Bob Doyle, Sonia Ricotti, and other special guests including Bob Proctor, Mark Romero, and Steve G Jones.

They'll be talking about their strategies for living amazing lives and how you can do it too.

Click Here To Register For Today's Teleclass

<< And >>

TOMORROW begins the free 'Genius Code' online program. You'll learn how to access more of your natural brainpower by using some rather unusual and different techniques.

This home study version of this program normally sells for $357 every day, and during this limited-time "try before you buy" event you can listen to the online streaming version completely free. :)

Start Your Free 'Genius Code' Program Today
(lesson #1 is already available for you RIGHT NOW)

Now about "just taking it"…

I remember when I was younger, my self-esteem issues were rampant. They unconsciously controlled just about every social interaction I was in. And I didn't even know it.

And whenever I received a compliment, I always felt compelled to respond by giving a reason for the compliment.

Other: "Wow, the blue in your eyes really stand out today!"

Me: "Yeah that's because of the shirt I'm wearing."

Or…

Other: "I really like your hair today."

Me: "I tried styling it differently using some gel and a trick I learned from the person who cut my hair."

Or…

Other: "I really like the way you treated that homeless person with compassion."

Me: "Everybody has tough times, and I'm glad to be able to help a little bit."

Now all of those examples seem benign normal social interactions.

However, they're MISSING something.

See, in each of them there is an unconscious lack of self-confidence. It might be huge. It might be small. That depends on the person.

How might this be?

In each of those interactions there is an explanation -why- we are the way we are. In those examples, I was trying to *justify* a good quality about myself…

Because deep down I believed that being me simply wasn't "enough."

It wasn't enough for me to just take it and say "Thank you."

No.

Because I felt inadequate, I had to create a reason why the compliment could be "allowed." It wasn't allowed as it was, on its own, simply because another person was appreciating me.

Part of me felt unworthy enough to receive the appreciation. I felt unconsciously "not good enough" to be complimented authentically. I couldn't take it.

And so rather than just saying "Thank you," I had to rationalize (give "rational lies") to cover over my perceived inadequacy.

I share this with you because so many of us don't fully receive compliments from others. We gloss them over.

We don't take them in. We don't allow other peoples' appreciation to personally *affect* us. We have difficulty just being seen and acknowledged for the amazing Divine beings that we are.

It took me years to learn to say "Thank you" when receiving a compliment. Now, however, I always do my best to receive the compliment and let it land with me. No rationalization. No explanation. No reason why.

Just simply receiving the gift that another person has given me.

In your own life, I challenge you…

For the next few days –whenever you receive a compliment– limit your reply to saying "Thank you" with a smile while making eye contact with that person.

Nothing more.

I challenge you to "just take it" and see what you discover. :)

An Afternoon In The Park

An Afternoon In The Park

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Spiritual Development

There once was a little boy who wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of root beer and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase.

He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her a Twinkie. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Once again she smiled at him. The boy was delighted!

They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face.

She asked him, “What did you do today that made you so happy?”

He replied, “I had lunch with God.” But before his mother could respond, he added, “You know what? She’s got the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen!”

Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home.

Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked, “Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?”

She replied, “I ate Twinkies in the park with God.” But before her son responded, she added, “You know, he’s much younger than I expected.”

~ Author Unknown and Greatly Appreciated

Nothing Is Either Good Or Bad, But _____ Makes It So

Nothing Is Good Or Bad, But ______ Makes It So

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Spiritual Development

When I was going through my Dark Night of the Soul a few years ago, I met with many professionals. My intention in meeting with them was primarily twofold:

(1) Establish a support structure

(2) Gather perspective and guidance beyond my own perception

I recall meeting with one very highly specialized psychologist, and he asked me:

“How do you see what’s happening to you? What’s the story you tell yourself?”

Given what I was going through, I could have told a pretty sorry story. A tale of woe, pain, anxiety, and fear.

(and that’s putting it mildly)

But that wasn’t what I said. I was in a very dark space, and although I had hope, I didn’t have any idea how that hope would manifest.

My reply was short and simple:

“Things are being put in their right places.”

Kind of an odd response to such a traumatic and horrifying situation. And yet, it was profound because it showed that I was LIVING one of the most important principles of personal transformation:

Choosing our thoughts, words and stories.

The languages we use are POWERFUL.

I’ve said this before. Many times. That’s because it’s fundamentally important that we choose and use words which support the reality we choose to live in and create.

Similarly, the stories we tell ourselves are powerful. They literally write the reality we live in, and I’m not talking metaphysically. I’m talking biologically.

Our brain neurons literally contain and transfer the stories of our lives. Factual stories as well as emotional stories.

Therefore, when we change our internal stories we actually change our biochemistry – and that changes how we perceive the world and how we act.

In other words (pardon the pun!)…

“Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

fork-in-the-road

Pleasure And The Pain — The Sacred And Profane

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Spiritual Development

In our minds, there's often a split between extremes. It's a natural human inclination.

We tend to see things as "good" or "bad" with very little room for the gray area.

We move away from pain and towards pleasure…

We tend to identify things as either sacred or profane.

The list goes on.

The thing is, this mindset is representative of our split minds and hearts. We split things off because a part of us can't handle the possibility that it *all* can be within our immediate experience at the same time.

Not that it always is. Only that it can be. And we discount that possibility.

So when people suggest that profanity is "bad," I point out that it's merely a judgment we place on a specific configuration of letters.

THIS.

SHIT.

Same letters. Different word. Different symbols. And yet many of us will see one of those words as "good" and another as "bad."

But is it really the letters' and words' fault? :)

Are they really "bad" simply for being what they are?

I don't believe so. Nor do I believe that any human being is inherently "bad" regardless of what trespasses (or even atrocities) that person may have committed.

Lost, yes. Bad, no.

Similarly when we look at our relationship to pleasure and pain we often see them as being just one-sided. Something is either pleasurable or painful.

Even our most intimate relationships, we can rationalize as having "good and bad" yet we don't look at the possibility usually that they can be both *at the same time*

Yet inherent within our experience of being human is a sense of pleasure. Sometimes it's very obvious such as indulging in a great dessert or amazing sex.

Other times, it's more subtle. It's a nuance or hint that there's a gift to being alive. That something precious about being human is inherently pleasurable.

No more evident was this to me than a few months ago when I was sick. VERY sick.

I was vomiting nonstop, and I had taken up residence on the floor next to the toilet so I could throw up in the toilet instead of everywhere else (and then have to clean it up).

Part of me felt like it was the end of the world. I knew it wasn't. It just felt that way. And with the frequency of vomiting, it seemed like it would never end.

Then one moment, I noticed how hot I felt – so I took my shirt off and laid on the floor. Then I noticed that the coolness of the floor on my skin felt pleasurable.

As I continued to notice the specific sensations of coolness, it felt very pleasurable…

And odd.

I was fully experiencing the pleasure of aliveness, of the sensations of coolness and warmth playing together — while at the same time fully feeling the wretchedness of my illness.

The combination of this feeling of death and life was profound. And profane (at least my thoughts were! hehe…)

Anyway, enough rambling for now. I figured today was as good a day as any to share with you something I'm playing with…

This possibility that we can experience pleasure in ANY moment of ANY day, regardless of how painful our life experience might simultaneously be.

Joy Dream Hope

How To Be Present… With The Future AND The Past?

Written by Chris Cade on . Posted in Spiritual Development

When I was younger, I believed that I lived in the Present moment…

Simply because I wasn't consciously living in the past. Little did I realize that I was actually living mostly in the future. I wasn't really Present at all!

As I deepened into my inner journey, I have noticed that I live more fully in the Present moment. And that awareness has shown me some interesting paradoxes.

For example, it is possible to *not* be Present even when not thinking about the future or the past.

In other words, just because we are not thinking about things does not necessarily mean we are living in the Present moment.

(although it certainly brings us closer to that experience)

On the flip-side, it is possible to be Present even when thinking about the future and the past.

This is because thoughts themselves do not indicate whether or not we are being Present.

We can become stuck in old ways of thinking and feeling, of painful pasts, or of fearful and anxious futures.

Most of our inner journey is spent clearing away these old patterns so that we can experience the Present moment in its entirety.

So then how do we do that?

Even when thoughts are in our immediate experience?

The answer is surprisingly simple…

This is possible when our awareness is squarely on our *direct experience* of the Present moment.

Not our thoughts of the Present moment. Our experience of it.

Taste. Touch. Hear. Sense. Smell.

It is in our experience of the Present moment that we find our true freedom…

Both with and without thoughts.

Which Mental Trap Is Holding You Back?

Do you believe that there could be more for you in life…

But you just don't know what to do to change things around?

If you do, you're not alone. And it's not your fault.

Most likely, you've just fallen victim to one of the most common mental traps that stop people from moving forward.

Find Out Which One In This Free Quiz

Simply fill out a few questions, and in 30 seconds you'll get a customized video response detailing which of the 4 most common mental "traps" is stopping you from being happy and successful.

(however you define 'success' to be in your life)

Take Your Free Quiz Now

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