Now let's talk about emotions…

Recently on Facebook, I wrote this comment:

"Nobody is responsible for your own sadness except for you. Nobody is responsible for your fear except you. You are the only person responsible for any and all of your emotions… positive, negative, and everything in between."

To which James inquisitively replied:

"Would you have said this to the holocaust victims being pushed into the ovens?"

In my experience, a deep need for understanding the Truth sometimes compels me to look at the extreme situations and see if a "truth" or "teaching" can be applied. In that way, this question really lands well with me at a heartful level.
    
After all, if a teaching can't hold up under intense scrutiny, how can we trust the teaching or expect it to be applied in our own lives?

My Present thoughts on this are:

• Those people, in those situations (no matter how extreme) *are* ultimately responsible for their own emotions. We only need study the works of Viktor Frankl, Wild Bill Cody, or Anne Frank to see evidence of people who knew that their circumstances could direct their attention and emotions, yet they themselves were ultimately responsible for their emotions.
   
• That said, we do have very clear biological / instinctual energies that can show up as emotions in our bodies (and thus hijack our brain functioning). For example, the threats of fear to our physical safety. This is a biological response which lasts, at a minimum, 6 seconds — unless we take responsibility for that experience and choose to take conscious control of it (such as through breathing).

  If we step into conscious awareness, we can end those hormone cycles more quickly. If we allow the cycle to go unconscious, our body will continue to flood with stress hormones about every 6 seconds. When we're stressed out, the most important thing we can do is take a deep breath and do something, anything, to gain distance from the difficult emotion.
   

• I also feel that taking any teaching out of context is a disservice to the teaching. What I mean by this is that while I absolutely do believe (and this is having been through my own horrifying Dark Night of the Soul) that we are each responsible for our own emotions, I would *not* speak that to people in extreme situations (such as the Holocaust) -UNLESS- the moment called for it. My words (if any) would likely be oriented more towards direct expressions of compassion.
   
• It's important to remember that my primary orientation is towards being Present and in the moment. From this place, the Truth will arise.

Therefore, while hypothetical situations can be very helpful to understand teachings – exploring those hypothetical situations cannot *ever* be considered a remotely accurate substitute for personal and direct experience.

This is why I say that in the situation described, I don't fully know how I would respond.

Would I have words?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Would they be a teaching on emotions?

Probably not. But they could be.

After all, what if I were sitting with Anne Frank or Viktor Frankl?

Or somebody similar who was already oriented towards taking responsibility for his/her emotions, but perhaps just wasn't quite in that space or needed a little support to re-orient back towards self awareness?

I can't know these things in advance.

I can only know that when I am totally Present, and oriented towards compassion, the Truth will arise as needed. In this way, what I might say to one person in that situation could be a total 180 from what I'd tell another person in that situation.

I am reminded of a wonderful Zen Buddhist story…

"The Most Important Teaching"

A renowned Zen master said that his greatest teaching was this: Buddha is your own mind.

So impressed by how profound this idea was, one monk decided to leave the monastery and retreat to the wilderness to meditate on this insight. There he spent 20 years as a hermit probing the great teaching.

One day he met another monk who was traveling through the forest. Quickly the hermit monk learned that the traveler also had studied under the *same* Zen master:

"Please, tell me what you know of the master's greatest teaching."

The traveler's eyes lit up:

"Ah, the master has been very clear about this. He says that his greatest teaching is this: Buddha is NOT your own mind."

The other day I shared with you an important video from Chris and Janet Attwood about the necessity for stepping up our game and more fully into life.
    
Today I am grateful to share with you the 2nd video in their "Hidden Riches" series where they cover a LOT of important ground.

Watch The Newest Episode of "Hidden Riches"

Here's a few things I really appreciated in this newest one:

• How Janet's misadventures with a criminal biker gang and a boyfriend who thought she was "useless" led to her story of spiritual awakening
   
• Marci Shimoff tells about how she had the epiphany of her life -AND- she couldn't tell anybody!
  (and how that epiphany later transformed her life and the lives of millions of people)
   
• A very interesting way of looking at the word "spiritual" that I'd never heard before
  (listen closely, this quick tip could pass you by)
   
• One simple breathing practice that brings refreshes and calms within seconds
  (I'd heard of this, but hadn't ever taken it seriously until watching this)

And a lot more that I thoroughly enjoyed, and am sure you will too.

If you've ever become a little disillusioned or overwhelmed with the "rat race…"

I've you've felt stressed with deadlines and to-to lists…

Or if you just want to bring a deeper sense of meaning and purpose in your life…

Then this second video in their series is one you'll thoroughly enjoy

Watch "The Hidden Riches" Video #2

In addition to the video…

You'll also get a downloadable bonus PDF that describes three practices you can use for:

1. Relaxation
2. Grounding into your heart – This one is especially useful when going into an important meeting or interview
3. Bathing – just like Cleopatra and the Queen of England have used…

And you'll also get another bonus audio interview download with Sadhvi Bhagwati – a person you've probably never heard of before, but you'll never forget after listening to her story

Watch The Video and Download Your Bonus PDF and Audio

I wonder if you can relate to this…

Before I began living my purpose and looking within, I remember many ofmy days being fairly… "benign." Dull. Repetitive.

Wake up. Work. Eat dinner. Watch a movie, tv, or socialize (when I felt like it). Sleep.

Repeat.

In other words, there was a serious lack of joy and sense of mystery and magic in my life. The feeling was especially strong in moments of unwanted stress, such as when my relationships were having problems.

Or when I did any kind of boring hum-drum soul-sapping task that left me thinking, "well, at least it's a paycheck, right?”

The feeling left me drained. Momentarily disillusioned. Unable to function as creatively, intuitively or energetically as I was capable of.

And given that you connect with my overall messages and work, it's probably safe to say that at some point in your life (maybe even now?) you can relate to this.

If not in the big ways I described, at least in smaller more subtle ways. Those moments when we question our current situation and wonder how we might deepen our sense of aliveness, magic, and mystery.

The thing is, these kinds of feelings aren't unique to any of us. It's actually part of being human, and they serve as a "wake up call" for us to step more fully into our potential.
    
Unfortunately though, when we don't listen to these inner nudges then it causes pain, frustration, and ultimately a global crisis of conscience.

All of this is related, and that's why I encourage you to take a few minutes and watch a video from my friends Chris and Janet Attwood titled, "An Ancient Warning For Your Modern Life."

Click Here And Watch The Video

I recall the first time I met Janet because it truly was magical. Those first silent moments were the first time I consciously remember being totally "one" with everyone and everything. We simply were "being" together.

There were many invaluable lessons there, the least of which was that it was possible to experience the "magic" of the moment, of connection, with a total and complete stranger and feel as natural as breathing air.

I also learned this:

One of the greatest gifts *any* teacher can offer is his or her Presence. See, when we are in the Presence of those who have a more developed spiritual self, our consciousness and degree of Presence is immediately elevated. The greatest gift a teacher gives is not his or her knowledge (which is invaluable), it's Presence. It's the expression of the Divine being lived through another Being.

Janet and Chris have both been through a LOT in their lives (much of which they bare in their NY Times Best-selling book "The Passion Test") — and Janet's personal Presence showed this to me. Simply being with her that evening (and especially those first few moments) showed and taught me more than I could have imagined.

So it should be no mystery that her and Chris' teachings have touched millions of people around the world, including myself. They led out with helping people discover their passions, and now they're stepping up their game to deliver a very pressing message:

Humanity must "wake up." We need to reconnect with the often hidden and unseen energies that are shifting and shaping our world…

And ultimately necessary for our survival.

We must rediscover the fulfillment, joy, creativity, intuition, magic, and mystery that is within each and every one of us… waiting to be unleashed into the world.

Or we risk losing our gifts, our preciousness, our humanity forever.

I know because I didn't realize I had lost all these things until I was facing imminent doom in my relationship and I had to "wake up" and really look at how I got in such a difficult situation in the first place.

That's why when Chris and Janet reached out to me with a personal email that said, "Up for doing something together?" and shared the project they were working on, my response was: "Send me all the info, and I'll help make sure more people hear about this."

They've described this information as "an ancient warning," and in their video (and subsequent videos in this mini-series) they explain exactly what that warning is…

And how we can listen and "wake up."

Watch ‘The Ancient Warning’ Video

Imagine waking up tomorrow with the exuberance and innocence of a 5-year-old child. Untouchable by stress, frustration or material problems. Genuinely awe-struck by everything you see and feel.

This is the state of being Janet and Chris promise we can recapture…

But only when we take heed of this ancient warning.

And based on those first few moments when Janet and I connected deeply in silence, as well as some of the stories she shared in her book "The Passion Test," she's a teacher I know I can trust in this part of our adventure together.

Just last night I was practicing some martial arts techniques to prepare for a tournament, and I randomly made up a few techniques jokingly. My coach saw this and replied:
    
"That looks good, Mr. Cade!"

I was taken by surprise. It was a joke. I was just messing around, and here he was asking me to try again.

After a few minutes, I put this new joke technique into a combination. As I tried it out a few times, it felt awkward. However, as he and a few others watched, the feedback was very simple:

"That looks really good, Mr. Cade!"

I couldn't put a handle on it. It just felt so strange. And given that I have done a lot of different martial arts techniques in my life, my body knows the difference between "it feels strange because it is strange" and "it feels strange because it's difficult to learn."

This was not difficult to learn. After all, it was a joke!

Then he asked me if I had a video camera so he could show me what I was doing. I pulled out my phone and we recorded me doing the new combination a couple of times.
    
My response after watching the combination?

"Wow, that DOES look good!"

I was quite surprised, especially since it still felt strange to do it. And in that moment, I was both learning a teaching and reminded of something I already knew… and was experiencing in a new way.
    
What I learned was that "feeling strange" can also be because of being unfamiliar. It isn't necessarily strange, nor difficult. Just unfamiliar.

In the scope of our daily lives, we sometimes mistake this feeling of strangeness for fear. New situations can be scary because we don't know what to expect. They can feel uncertain.
    
This can show up in many kinds of ways, whether it's dating and relationships, perhaps applying for a new job or entering a new career, trying a new personal development program or technique, or simply exploring new ways of perceiving ourselves.

In other words, next time you're experiencing something new that feels "strange" consider the possibility that instead of linking that experience with fear… you can link it with curiosity. You can actually wonder what is possible and what might happen.

My curiosity led me to a video camera to SEE what was real. And I noticed that my previous sensations of "strangeness" did not translate to my techniques looking strange. They looked good!

Now what was it that I already knew and remembered?

The feeling of strangeness with my techniques will go away as I practice more. This is because of the actual muscle memory that happens. The more I practice the combination, the more my physiology and brain will see it as familiar, and thus, feel more natural to me. My muscles will "know" the combination eventually to the point that I don't think about what I'm doing – my body just does it.

This muscle memory is what allows a person to ride a bike successfully, even if they haven't done it in ten years. It's what can allow people to drive a car and not even be conscious of how they got from one place to another. Muscle memory is how our body remembers the patterns we repeat over and over.

One of the purposes of muscle memory is so that the movement becomes intrinsic to us. It becomes subconscious, so that we can free our conscious mind for other activities. The same is true of personal transformation.

At first, new techniques and approaches and new ideas can feel strange or unfamiliar. For example, if we're used to thinking negatively then it will feel really strange (and scary) if we try to "think positively."
    
However, over time the more we put those ideas into practice – such as positive thinking – the more that new empowering pattern will move into our subconscious. Eventually, the new pattern (such as positive thinking) becomes your new default mode… the familiar. And consequently, the old you can actually feel unfamiliar. It can actually feel strange and unfamiliar to have negative thought patterns.
    
This is one of the keys to transforming our lives.

We literally take something currently seems familiar (our limiting beliefs, our inaccurate perceptions, our negative thought patterns) and counter-act them with something that is unfamiliar yet empowering (like positive thinking, self awareness, and positive reframing of our experiences). We repeat the new pattern over and over and over until it becomes natural.

As we continue to do this over time, over and over, it's impossible to not become the very amazing person you are. This is a natural consequence of the transformation that occurs when you continuously repattern your life in positive ways.

Long story short:

There's a lot of amazing and powerful personal transformation approaches out there. Many of them can feel strange or unfamiliar. That's okay.

Be curious and allow yourself to be drawn to whatever approach, teacher, or technique seems to resonate with you at a deeper level. Transform those feelings of strangeness and unfamiliarity into curiosity and see what's possible in your life.

Then, commit to something. Practice it over and over until it becomes natural… until it becomes embedded in your subconscious.

This may shed some light on why teachers recommend a daily meditation practice of 20 or 30 minutes at a time. They don't recommend 150 minutes one day per week. They recommend it daily. This helps repattern your life for positive changes that are almost impossible to experience if a person only meditates once a week (or less).

Similarly, this is also why I recommend eliminating or at least minimizing your exposure to world news. Most of it is shoving negative, fear-based stories straight into your subconscious mind. Our minds rationalize this by saying we "need to be informed," but the truth is –and this is my experience after avoiding TV news for over half a decade– if it's important enough to know, the news will find its way to me naturally.

Instead, spend that time watching positive empowering TV shows or reading books or magazines with positive messages.

Every single experience you have is either contributing to your best life…

Or not.

Choose wisely.

This also explains why my Liberate Your Life system is not instantly downloadable. You can't just buy it and get everything at once. The program is delivered over 24 weeks.

For centuries and throughout many cultures, people have sought to answer a deceptively simple question:

Why must innocent, good-natured people die?

It's easy for us to justify why destructive people "should" die. This is evidence in the laws which support the death penalty in several countries and states.

But what about people who lived good, heartful, kind lives? What about people who lived without ill-intent? People who died too young? Or were born into adverse conditions that were inescapable? Why must they die?

I don't have an answer. Maybe when I die I will.

However, a good friend of mine once sent me the story below and I felt it fitting to share with you given the topic of my last email, "About The Boston Tragedy And Bombings Yesterday."

My point in sharing this story is not to suggest that there is a specific answer to that question. Instead, it's to open up the inquiry that, perhaps, just perhaps, there may be reasons beyond our human understanding.

I also deeply appreciate the wisdom from many paths and traditions, and as such, encourage a larger inquiry beyond what we may personally "believe" to be true about something…

And instead, support our individual searches for meaning, purpose, and Truth.

Deep in the jungle, Narada broke a strong branch from a tree Taking a rock he began sharpening the end of the branch.

A year has past, he thought to himself. Four seasons I have sat outside this cave.

When the spear had been fashioned, Narada walked to the entrance of the cave.

"Mother Pig," he yelled into the cave.

There was no response.

Narada walked into the cave's dark mouth. Inside he saw a pig nursing five piglets.

"It's time to go," yelled Narada.

The pig and piglets ignored him.

Narada then began waving his wooden spear violently. The five piglets squealed, bolted upright and ran out the cave… but the mother remained.

"I will not go," said the pig. "Why did you send my family away? I loved them so very much. Why have you done this to me, you cruel man?"

"Leave this cave," pleaded Narada.

"No," said the pig. "Leave me alone. I've done no one any harm. I only want to live in this cave until I die."

"So be it," said Narada.

Narada quickly brought his spear down on the pig, piercing her through the belly. The pig yelled in pain. Blood leaked onto the floor.

"Why?" said the pig. "Why have you done this to me?" She squealed once more and went limp

Narada fell to his knees, tears streaming. He remembered how one year earlier he had stood outside the same cave speaking to Lord Vishnu…

"How can you expect humanity to ever find freedom from the wheel of birth and death?" he had said to Vishnu.

Vishnu had smiled. "God consciousness is so satisfying — it is far more tempting than material reality."

"Yes," Narada had replied, "but when all people know is the taste of matter, how can you expect them to want anything more?"

Vishnu then had become quiet. Finally he had spoken: "Possibly this illusion of material reality is too strong. But I am not sure."

"Then why don't you test it out on yourself?" Narada had replied with a tinge of anger in his voice.

"Very well," Vishnu had said. "I will become a pig and start a family."

"What?" Narada replied in shock.

"I will live in this cave for one year as a pig," Vishnu repeated. "After one year, you shall come and get me. If I refuse to leave then you need to kill me."

"My Lord?" Narada had said in horror. "Please no…"

But it was too late. Vishnu had already transformed himself into a mother pig who violently discharged Narada from her cave.

One year later, Narada now cried over the corpse of that same mother pig. When his anguish had become so great he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Vishnu standing above him, radiant and smiling.

"Thank you, Narada," said Vishnu. "I was so happy being that mother pig that I forgot what I really am. Though painful and unwanted, thrusting that spear through my belly freed me from the illusion that I was content just being a pig."

"It hurt me so to do so," said Narada. "I didn't want to harm you."

"It hurts me also to bring suffering upon my children," said Vishnu. "But such is how it must be. As you say, my delusion is too strong."

I have mixed feelings about the tragedy in Boston today. My feelings aren’t mixed about what happened. For that, there is deep sadness for all who are affected.

My mixed feelings are about how so many tragedies, like this one, go on every day yet don’t receive the same degree of compassion and support as those tragedies which are most highly publicized.

My mixed feelings are about how some tragedies are considered “acceptable losses” and swept under the rug merely because they happened in faraway countries or minority cultures in our own society where tragedy isn’t a rare occurrence… it’s a way of life.

My mixed feelings are about how even the tragedies in our daily lives are forgotten, or even minimized, because the “big” tragedies didn’t happen to us uniquely.

While I deeply honor the loss of lives, sanity, safety, and much more from today’s tragedy in Boston,

I also want to take this moment to honor the tragedies that each and every person in this world goes through:

Big and small…

Close and far away…

For people alive today and also those who are no longer with us.

In our reflection and holding space, let us remember this quote from Henry Ward Beecher:

“Compassion will cure more sins than condemnation.”

We cannot change what happened nor what happens. We cannot change others. We can change our view of the world and how we react to it.

Let us have faith in the goodness of humanity even when the world gives us justifiable reason not to.

Let us create the world we want, even amidst the chaos – even when that seems to pull us so quickly and easily away from the very world we seek to create.

Let us love even when it hurts.

Let us unify even with those who seek to divide.

For any other way…

Is only creating more of the same world we seek so deeply in our hearts to heal.

Back in college, I took a speech class that forever changed my views on problem solving.

One of our assignments was to choose a social or political issue and speak either for or against it. At the time, I was a proponent of the death penalty. I decided that I'd write about why the death penalty was a good idea. At the time, I believed in an eye for an eye and that that execution was a reasonable way to bring justice to killers.

As I researched my paper though, I discovered something interesting…

Aside from a belief in "eye for an eye" there was not a single logically justifiable reason to support the death penalty. It even costs more to execute a person than it does to lock them up in maximum state prison for a life sentence (40 years).

I was faced with a dilemma: Which side of the death penalty do I speak in favor of?

Ultimately, the success-driven aspect of my personality won out. I wanted an A on this paper, and so I decided to speak against the death penalty. I gave my speech and cited all the reasons why it should't be used anymore. It was a great speach, and I earned an A. I thought I was done.

And I was wrong. The next speech was significantly more difficult.

We were asked to speak about a solution which would appeal to people who were both against and for our previous position. I thought the project was insane.

After all, how can two completely polar opposite positions find peace with one another?

One side wants people to die. The other wants them to live. That seemed pretty black and white to me.

Not only that, but I didn't even believe in the position I had advocated for! I truly was between a rock and a hard place with this one.

Then I realized the reason this assignment was so valuable was because it forced the students to think without the box. It wasn't just about thinking outside the box. We couldn't just go get a better box. We couldn't just try to make one position bigger or better until it overpowered the weaker side. We literally had to throw our preconcieved ideas away if we wanted to have any chance of solving this dilemma.
    
After some time of reflection, I realized what the solution was.

Ironically, it had absolutely nothing to do with advocating for or against the death penalty. The solution was so surprisingly simple that I realized no sane person would object to it. The answer? Reduce the number of murders in the world.

Hypothetically, if this solution were taken to the extreme, there would be no murders. No murders would mean no need for the death penalty. And not needing to execute people would be something that people both for and against the death penalty would be able to agree on. At the very least, both sides would be able to agree that less killing was beneficial.
    
My speech was brilliant, thought-provoking, and some of my solutions were downright offensive to some people. That's because I didn't hold any punches. I explored several potential solutions to reduce the number of murders in the world.

I had gone way beyond "the box" at this point, and it taught me a lot.

The most important thing I learned though, was about what it really takes to create win-win solutions to problems. I discovered that when faced with a difficult decision, sometimes we have to let go of what we think the answer is, or even what the answer could be.

Sometimes we have to stop being ourselves, stop being the other person, and step into a new space of unknown and mysterious possibility.

Next time you're faced with a difficult decision, take a few moments and pause.

Let go of having a side or a position to defend. Just be with the challenge for a little while and be curious about it. Go underneath the issue or challenge at hand and ask yourself, "What do people on both sides of this issue really want? Deep down what do they want?"

You'll notice that most of the time, people want the same things. They just have different ways of expressing that in the world.

When you get this…

When you really get it…

The next step is to look for ways that might be able to give everyone involved what they want. What you'll find is a lot happier, more peaceful world.

And it'll be a world that you've helped co-create.

A while back I posted this quote from Deepak Chopra on Facebook, and it elicited some interesting responses:

"All self-importance is a form of self-pity in diguise."

It's very easy to become reactive around a quote like this. After all, our egos like to be important. Shifting into judgment is pretty easy, fast, and feels natural.
 
After all, who wants to admit that they pity themselves?

And even moreso, with the number of times throughout a day most of us feel important (consciously or unconsciously), we wouldn't want to admit that each of those times we are pitying ourselves.

That's a lot of self-pity in disguise!

(If Deepak is right…)

So we unconsciously shift our attention away from the feelings of self-pity and into self-importance. Karla asked me to explain further, so here's my thoughts:

First of all, this is a super-long answer. Entire books are devoted to this basic premise. That's why I discuss it, in several different ways, within my Liberate Your Life program.

However, the short version of it is this…

If we must "make" ourselves feel better / superior / "important" to other people, then this shows us that we actually feel worse / inferior / unimportant and are trying to cover up our feelings of inferiority. We react by trying to cover up (usually unconsciously) our feelings that we don't want to experience.

Feelings that Deepak calls, "self-pity."

This is basically why bullies hurt other kids — so that the bully can feel superior because deep down the bull feels inadequate or inferior. That causes the acting out as a means to try and gain control over their lives since they feel out of control.

Amy responded:

"I know about that, Chris. I know the feeling. I actually go the other way- I'm afraid to enjoy my accomplishments because I don't want to appear to be self-centered."

Given what I've shared above, it should be clear that this is also a form of self-pity.

Avoiding one's true authentic power is a way of pitying one's self. It's basically like saying, "I am not good enough to be loved, appreciated, and seen EXACTLY as I am. Therefore, I will under-represent myself in an in-authentic way so that I can avoid my fears of being rejected by others."

Of course now I've made the issue more complex. Karla immediately picked up on this and asked:

"What if you showed up as self-centered? Whats the worse thing that could happen? Your friends will agree that your awesome and your enemies will hate you because you showed up! In the end its what YOU think of YOU! Just show up! You can adjust how to show up anytime you want."

After all, on one hand self-importance is a form of self-pity. Yet at the same time, I acknowledge the need for us to own, honor, and express our true authentic power.

What's the difference?
    
The difference is between self-importance and authentic self-centeredness. Self-importance is really about the judgmental comparisons I described.

Self-importance is about saying, "I am one way. Other people are another way. And I feel better than those people for certain reasons." And as I mentioned, this turns back towards your self as a form of self-pity (otherwise there would be no need to comparatively judge).

On the other hand, authentic self-centeredness (or authentic power) is really about owning your total, complete, and full awesomeness without any need to compare. In other words, you simply show up, express yourself authentically, and trust that who you are IS good enough in that given moment.

It's not that you are good enough for any specific reason that your ego can think of.

You are good enough for one specific reason.

And one reason only.

There is *no* other reason why you are good enough than this single reason:
    
YOU EXIST.

Let that sink in.

Last month I went to the Wisdom 2.0 Conference, where people who are passionate about technology and spirituality came together.

There was a lot of talk about compassion and mindfulness, in the workplace, in technology, and even in wars and congress. It was inspiring.

At this conference, Marianne Williamson gave a speech which was rather unconventional. Specifically, she showed a fiery kind of passion and she called upon the audience to go beyond meditation — and really take action in the world.

Some people were taken back by the delivery of her message. Ultimately, the following question was asked:

"How do you feel about wisdom teachers who aren't always calm and mellow in public?"

Here's my take:

I believe that many people carry a misperception that spirituality only shows up "calm and peaceful" the way people perceive Eckhart Tolle.

And…

There's a very important need in our world for teachers who are relatable in a very personal and real way that connects with where we are…

People like Marianne who are willing to engage the more challenging aspects of our world and simultaneously challenge the parts of ourselves that feel wisdom teachers "should" look a certain way.

If true wisdom is being Present and in the moment, then there's no reason why it can't (and shouldn't) include moments of passion, as well as compassion, moments of challenging the ego and status quo as well as appeasing the ego and status quo (IF that is what the moment calls for), moments of owning one's abundant nature as well as giving one selflessly.

All of these things Marianne demonstrates by walking her talk — her entire message was filled with the deep love she teaches and lives by — it just "looked" a little different than some people were expecting.

If all our spiritual teachers looked / talked / walked the same, then a LOT of people would never become interested or engaged (or stay interested / engaged)…

Because most of us still walk around with our egos fully intact (even if we wish or pretend that's not the case), and our egos (as well as our True Nature) resonate with certain kinds of people and personalities…

And the variety of ways in which wisdom teachers can express themselves is a real gift to our world.

To lose that is to lose parts of ourselves that can be most precious, beautiful, supportive, and engaging in our world.

For example, if a spiritual teacher can't swear (can't is different than won't) then that teacher still has a LOT to learn about being human…

About being a teacher…

And about the Divine.

A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog post titled, “Faster than the Speed of… Sickness.”

I had thought it was a relatively non-controversial subject, until I received the following message from a reader:

“For somebody enlightened I was very disappointed to hear you didn’t approach a natural doctor for help while sick. Modern medicine doesn’t take a holisitic approach to healing as a natural doctor. I would encourage you to seek a natural healer. Sharing the benefits of this approach to heal would authenticate your spiritual mentorship.

How very sad to learn that you have yet to see this in all your reflections and meditations.

Your body was depleted and then you added modern medicine when its clear that this was breakthrough time and you failed to see the alternatives or try something new…

You shared a one dimensional remedy to heal. A quick fix that was not in line with your depth and spirit.

FAIL”

At the heart of this message are MANY important topics, each worthy of their own inquiry. Far more than I can cover in one email. A few questions it raises though are:

• How do we define “enlightenement?”
• How do we know if somebody has reached that state of Being?
• Are “enlightened” people held to different standards than the rest of the general population?
• Is there such thing as a separation between the “enlightened” and “general” populations? Or is everybody enlightened in some way, and has the capacity to deepen that experience?
• Should “enlightened” people avoid modern medicine?
• When we are disappointed in another person, is it possible that we are avoiding feeling disappointed in ourselves for the very same thing?
• Is it possible to remain open to many possibilities, even the ones that are not “enlightened”?
• How can we know what is truly right for another person?
• And much much more!

Yes, the questions raised by this one email are endless. For now, I’ll just respond naturally and give you a feel for where I’m at. You can probably read between the lines to figure out where my own answers to these questions tend to lie…

First of all, I always appreciate when people share their thoughts, experiences, and perspectives with me. It gives me an opportunity to see what is true for me, to inquire deeper, and ultimately to serve you more effectively.

In my experience, I have learned to include all possibilities that may be appropriate for a situation. For many years, I have almost exclusively seen a naturopath for my health needs. However, there are also certain aspects of conventional medicine that are very helpful and supportive in ways that naturopathic solutions cannot.

For example, when a person dear to me had a heart attack, I am grateful he was taken to the hospital instead of a naturopath.

And when it comes to acute injuries like broken bones and car accidents, having some powerful pain killers to prevent further emotional trauma can be a real gift. I appreciate that in modern medicine, there are many highly-specialized experts who can support us in very specific ways.

So when I think about how medicine and health relate to inner work, I believe that in both aspects of life it is important to include all possibilities. By being Present and in the moment, we can look more wholly at a situation, and therefore be more capable of taking the next best right step.

When we are not Present, we are identifying with our mind’s historical conditioning of how things “should” be. This causes us to exclude potentially helpful ideas because we have an “idea” about reality instead of being Present with what is actually happening.

Now that said, I generally try to avoid taking conventional medication of any kind. Prior to that illness, I can’t remember the last time I took any kind of prescribed medication like antibiotics.

My preference, whenever possible, is to use a holistic and natural approach to health. This doesn’t just mean seeing a naturopath for health advice. It includes eating healthy, supplements when appropriate (though I don’t take a lot of those either), getting adequate rest, meditating, paying attention to my emotions, getting physical exercise, enjoying life, and more.

All of these things contribute holistically to a healthy lifestyle.

Now that all said, I was deeply grateful to be feeling much better after just two days of antibiotics. Once I started taking the antibiotics, my body recovered very quickly.

AND, I am also deeply grateful to somebody who suggested that while taking antibiotics, I also take probiotics to support my depleted immune system. I took that advice and immediately picked up the most powerful, long-lasting, fast-acting, best-absorbed probiotics the store had.

(Yeah, sometimes I go a bit “overkill” hehe…)

This circles back to the real question which is this:

Did I “fail” as a teacher because I did not do what a specific person felt an “enlightened” person “should” do?

Aside from the fact that I wouldn’t refer to myself uniquely as enlightened (though when I’m meditating I certainly feel that way), and that I wouldn’t consider any mis-take (even a lack of integrity) to be a “failure,” I do have this to conclude with…

Rather than judge what a person “should” or “should not” do based on their “level of enlightenment,” instead consider every situation is unique. Without knowing all the facts and having walked in another person’s shoes, we can never be certain why another person may have made the decision he or she made.

Yes, the reasons are endless why some people do what they do. What looks to us like a lack of integrity may actually be that person living fully in his or her integrity.

I think Marianne Williamson said it brilliantly the other day on Facebook when she wrote:

“Someone else wrote yesterday that my speaking my views about the Iraq War made her lose all respect for me. My problem, however, is that I would lose all respect for myself if I did not.”

What do you think about all of this?