|Gratitude to Paulo Coelho for this story…|
In a certain village in Umbria (Italy), there lived a man who was always bewailing his lot. He was a Christian, and found the weight of his cross too heavy to bear.
One night, before going to sleep, he begged God to let him change his burden.
That night he had a dream; the Lord led him to a warehouse. "Go ahead and change it," he said. The man saw crosses of all sizes and shapes, with the names of their owners. He picked an average size cross – but when he saw the name of an old friend written on it, he left it aside.
Finally, as God had permitted, he chose the smallest cross he could find.
To his surprise, he saw his own name written on it.
Worried? Fearful? Depressed? Even hopeless?
Maybe complacent, indecisive, indifferent, or just "it will be what it will be"?
Or are you bursting with confidence, optimism and excitement?
… with delight, joy, and unquestionable faith that an awesome future is inevitable?
It's an important question to answer, because…
How we feel today determines what we will experience in the future.
The vibration we send out influences what the Divine brings into our lives.
Ironically, worrying won't help (because that vibration isn't supportive). And fortunately, even if we are feeling anxious or negative, that doesn't mean we're destined to a gloomy future.
In fact, quite the opposite is true. By being aware of how we feel now, we can deliberately choose a brighter and better future. We can always choose anew. 🙂
One way to do that involves following 3 simple steps that my friend Christy is teaching during her new free online training: "How to Deliberately Design Your Awesome Future"
The subtitle she's given it is "Accelerate your manifestations by connecting with your future self." In other words, she's showing how we can step into the best version of ourselves and at the same time carry that energy forth into the lives we want to deliberately create for ourselves.
During this free class, we will explore:
I've known Christy for MANY years and she is just a wonderful woman, a powerful teacher, and an example of somebody who changed her life by living what she teaches.
At one point she was unhappy in a pharmaceutical job, overweight, and felt unlovable and unable to have a meaningful intimate relationship.
Now, she teaches people worldwide how to live amazing lives, she has a body she fantastically loves (last month I shared with you how she did that), and she has a phenomenal husband who I personally adore and love… he's got a heart of gold.
But she couldn't have done it if she didn't believe that it was possible.
She couldn't have done it if she stayed stuck in guilt, worry, fear, and other unpleasant feelings.
And she couldn't have done it without the support of her own mentors, coaches, and support that helped her see through the mud and into the clear blue sky.
Now Christy is sharing what she's learned so that you can SHORTCUT the path leading into your awesome future. 🙂
Watch Inspirational Video: "Turn Your Rain Into Rainbows"
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Considering I had recurring nightmares as a child about being overrun with ants, I used to have a knack for smashing ants even more quickly than I did spiders. That all changed on the day I found an ant inside, trapped it, observed it for a moment, and then released it outside. The ant then went on its merry way, away from our apartment and back towards the wild.
In that moment, I was reminded of the true power of "Trap, Neuter, and Release" — a program devoted to resolving the problems associated with trapping and killing wild cats. Instead of killing feral animals (due to problems related to overpopulation), the program neuters and then releases back into the wild. Here is a related article excerpt which I think is relevant that I'd like to explore further:
"An estimated sixty million feral cats live in the United States today. Local animal control often try to eliminate them by trapping and killing. This does not work. Instead of reducing their numbers, killing makes room for new cats to move in and the breeding process begins all over again. So does the suffering.
"Half of all kittens born into these colonies die soon after birth. Their mothers spend most of their lives pregnant and hungry. Unneutered tom cats roam across busy roads seeking mates, getting in fights: untreated wounds can eventually kill them."
The above quote serves as a wonderful metaphor for discussion about compassion; however, I'm ironically not talking about compassion in relation to others nor animals, but rather, towards ourselves.
How often do we beat ourselves up over things?
Many of us carry regrets such as "I should have done this" or "I shouldn't have said that."
These thoughts are no different than the wild cats…
Some people might say not to worry about these wild thoughts: "Don't carry guilt or regret… because guilt and regret are living in the past, and I 'should' be living in the present." That's all well and good, but it doesn't acknowledge the basic fact that we're feeling guilt or regret right now. And that is the present moment.
The real questions are these…
How do we learn to release some of the guilts and regrets we have?
How do we learn to accept ourselves, even when we feel so completely unacceptable?
In the context of the metaphor… how do we learn to neuter those negative thoughts?
What I propose is, rather than looking at it from the perspective of accepting ourselves, or of not feeling certain negative emotions because we're not "supposed to," instead apply the "Trap and Release" to our thoughts. How, you might ask? Try this…
The next time you have a thought that isn't pleasant, observe it. That's it, just observe it. After a moment, let it go.
For example, let's say that somebody says something that hurts your feelings, but inside you know they didn't mean to hurt your feelings. You end up telling yourself, "I shouldn't feel hurt. I know they didn't mean it." The challenge we have with this way of thinking is that we end up judging ourselves ("should" is usually an indicator that you're judging) for how we feel instead of understanding it. This judgment ends up causing us to feel even worse about ourselves… after all, what's worse then feeling bad? Feeling bad *about* feeling bad!
We end up trying to "kill" the thought by fighting against it… but fighting against something only serves to bring on another fight. Every time we say "I should" or "I shouldn't" we are fighting against ourselves and only serving to reinforce and build up our weapons against ourselves.
Internally, this has the same effect as a country fearing war so they start a draft and spend more on defense. Then another country sees this, they become fearful, and they start building up their defenses. Eventually, there's so much fear and so many weapons that people not only forget the original reason why they were fighting in the first place, but if somebody even sneezes wrong it could cause World War 3.
So now back to an example with ourselves…
In that moment, rather than say you "should" or "shouldn't" feel whatever it is you're feeling or thinking, instead just accept the fact that you feel hurt without trying to change it. Pause for a moment and just allow without judgment.
If you feel you can't avoid judging yourself, then offer to give yourself a temporary "cease fire." Say to yourself, "While I am observing this thought/emotion, I choose not to judge myself. However, in another five minutes I'll let any judgments I feel come into my awareness." The point behind this is to allow yourself to be accepting of that thought or emotion you are observing, at least for that moment.
What is the point of all of this? Why "Trap and Release"? Another excerpt from the article…
"Our goal is to catch the adult cats, spay or neuter them and release them back to their 'neighborhood.'"
If you continue to observe each of your judgmental thoughts (we all have them, even if it's something as simple as, "I don't like the way I feel right now" or "I wish that person would talk less."), you will begin to see the thoughts as they are.
You will begin to understand that the judgments you carry now, the negative thoughts you have today, are many times not because of what's happening in the present moment, but because what's happening in the present moment is poking at something painful or upsetting from your past.
If you want an extra challenge…
After pausing, ask yourself why you feel the way you do or had the thought you did. From our example, you might ask yourself, "Why does this hurt even though she didn't mean to hurt my feelings?" Be honest with yourself in that answer, and again remember not to judge your answer but just to accept and observe it.
Logically, you know you are not hurt because of what this person said (since they didn't mean to hurt you), but that you're actually hurt because this situation reminds you of something in your past that hurt. Maybe you are consciously aware of this thing in the past which hurts, but more than likely, you're not conscious of it (otherwise it probably wouldn't hurt when an unrelated event in the future causes this pain to be brought back up).
Eventually through this practice, the "wild cats" (i.e. negative thoughts) come in, become "neutered," and then go back to their "neighborhood."
Any way you look at it, though, by trapping, observing, and releasing your thoughts, you are allowing and accepting the natural flow of energy instead of impeding it. By stopping the "fight" within yourself, over time you will notice a progressively increasing sense of peace as you become more understanding of yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings.
This happens because as you allow yourself to be as you are, warts and all, your need to defend yourself… against yourself… becomes less and less prevalent.
You will feel less and less need to build up your arsenal of weapons preparing for war, and instead allow the weapons to be dismantled and set aside. They're still there, but they're benign and ineffective.
Eventually so much so, that you're able to walk across the boundaries of the war zone, shake hands with those you once feared…
With yourself you once feared…
And relax in peace.
A while back I shared with you my thoughts about "The LIE About Positive Thinking." Today, I'd like to expand on that topic in a different way. Specifically, the question is: Is it okay to have our thoughts?
On the surface, it seems obvious. Of course it's fine to have our thoughts!
But what if they're judgmental? Or so anti-Law Of Attraction that they're negative or hurtful? Shameful? Is it okay to have those thoughts too?
I recall years ago that whenever I wanted to feel a specific kind of emotion, I'd change my music to something that mirrored what I wanted. If I wanted to feel energized, I put on Dream Theater, Van Halen, Metallica, or Robert Miles. If I wanted to feel mellow, I put on some Diana Krall, Enigma, or Enya. For whatever mood I wanted, I put in the music that would take me there.
It wasn't until I ventured further down my spiritual path that I realized how detrimental that was to myself. I thought I was doing myself a favor by "picking myself up" naturally. Sort of like when you have a bad day, and a friend comes over and says, "Hey, let's go shopping and get some dessert. Forget that loser ex of yours for a while."
On the surface, that seems empowering and compassionate. The intention is well. However, all those examples have one thing in common:
Each one of them is rejecting the moment. It's rejecting the person's experience. It's rejecting the possibility that being right where you are is exactly where you're supposed to be. It is fundamentally saying to yourself, "Stop feeling the way you know you shouldn't." And as I teach in Liberate Your Life, every time you use the word "should" you're identifying with Your Inner Critic, limiting your growth and minimizing your happiness.
So then what's the alternative?
Honoring the moment.
Instead of telling yourself how to feel or trying to change how you feel, just accept it. With regards to my music, I found a real deep peace and a kind of magical mystery when I switched my mindset. Instead of finding music to cover up what I felt, to ignore my emotions, to try and transcend them, or try to evade them…
I found myself putting in music that honored exactly who I was in that very moment.
The result was profound. Instead of having an underlying agitated state of rejection and frustration, I was listening to the perfect music for that moment. Because the music was aligned with my inner state, there was a resonance which created a sense of peace.
It seems counterintuitive.
After all, sometimes I'd feel a deep sadness. Maybe an anger. Maybe shame. Delight and joy. Excitement. It could be anything. And yet when I put in music that completely honored the emotion I was experiencing, I also felt peace.
The other emotions didn't disappear. I didn't stop feeling sad or angry. What changed was that instead of rejecting my sadness or anger, I was at peace with it…
And that made all the difference.
Studies on the human mind have proven that as a child, our minds are like sponges. Everything we see, hear, encounter and experience gets absorbed deep in our subconscious minds, and continues to influence us from behind the scenes for much of our lives.
This subconscious influence can be either a blessing or a burden, depending on how it drives our thoughts, emotions and beliefs.
The ones that cause unwanted emotions like fear, self-doubt and negativity should be scrubbed from our subconscious minds – and the first step to achieving that is knowing exactly what childhood experiences are adversely affecting us and why.
Here are four of the most common types of childhood experiences we must release to move forward with our lives:
- Moments of uncontrollable, paralyzing fear
- Situations where procrastination paid off (in the short term)
- Inability to find a pursuit, skill or purpose that made your heart sing
- Moments of self-doubt caused by judgmental parents and role models
The above kinds of experiences create subconscious triggers that become implanted in our minds. These unfortunately work in the background like computer viruses, so we don't even know they're there or how they're holding us back.
They cause us to say things we don't mean, give in to bad habits, and make poor choices – that leave us frustrated and wondering "why?"
We'll go into more details on all four of those childhood experiences. Before we do, it would be really helpful to identify exactly which one is most likely negatively affecting you.
To help you do that, my friend Natalie Ledwell (see pic below) has created a quick eye-opening quiz that will bring you face-to-face with the BIGGEST Negative Childhood Imprint holding back your career and finances:
Empowered with that information, let's look at the four most common types of experiences that create Negative Childhood Imprints. And even though the quiz helped you identify the biggest one, if you're like me then you'll recognize yourself in ALL of these situations.
(unfortunately, but hey… we're all human and as they say "shit happens")
1. Moments of uncontrollable, paralyzing fear
Fear is a natural part of growing up. As children, we fear speaking on stage. We fear failing school exams. We fear asking out a potential prom date. We fear standing up to the school bully.
For some of us, that fear has solidified into a suit of armor we've carried into adulthood; an excuse to avoid taking risks or explore beyond our comfort zones.
Be mindful that our purpose in life is to grow; and fear is a necessary ingredient towards that growth. Even award-winning performers like Adele still get fearfully nervous on stage, but that doesn't stop them from stepping up time and time again.
And as George R.R. Martin says, "The only time a person can be truly brave is by first facing a fearful situation – and tackling it head-on anyway."
2. Situations where procrastination paid off (in the short term)
Our brains are hardwired to shield us from harm – which is good when you're stepping aside to avoid a falling tree; but not so good when your brain convinces you to stay put, sit still, and not do today what you can do tomorrow.
As children, we quickly begin to encounter situations where procrastination pumps us up with a (short-term) high.
Skipping homework to play video games is fun. Staying up a few extra hours past bedtime is nice. And mowing the lawn tomorrow so you can go play basketball today, sounds like a great idea.
Sure, just like smoking and eating unhealthy food, there are consequences to your temporary high – but once we become addicted to procrastination, pushing them to the back of your mind becomes second nature.
What makes procrastination even more damaging is that as we get older, the stakes get higher.
…and sometimes holding off on an important task for even just a few days is enough for everything to come crashing down.
So don't procrastinate on shaking off your procrastination habit: respect yourself, your time and your life by treating it with the urgency it deserves.
3. Inability to find a pursuit, skill or purpose that made your heart sing
You probably remember at least a few people from your childhood who pursued a hobby or skill, like dancing, playing a musical instrument or a sport, and went on to turn that pursuit into a successful lifelong career.
Most of us, however, tend to drift away from the paths we explored as children, if we had the opportunity to explore any in the first place.
Instead, we follow what's available and convenient, sacrificing the discovery or pursuit of what truly fulfills us on a deeper level.
Then, as the bills, responsibilities and deadlines of adulthood stack up, we completely sideline any notion of honoring our passions; instead, we settle for admiring other people's passion-driven achievements.
But, as the German philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel said, "Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion."
On your deathbed, a passionless life will be one of your biggest regrets. So remember that honoring yours is equally as, or even more important than, wealth and professional stability.
4. Moments of self-doubt caused by judgmental parents and role models
From our grades to our fashion sense, it's normal for our parents, mentors, teachers and role models to act judgmentally towards us as we're growing up.
This behavior often boils down to a well-meaning protective streak that manifests as excessive scrutiny on our actions, decisions and academic performance.
Unfortunately, being constantly put under a microscope can manifest a sense of unease and nervousness each time we're faced with a decision that should be ours and ours alone to make.
"What will they think?" and, "Will I let them down?" are common questions we ask yourself when we're plagued by the self-doubt of excessive judgment.
To overcome this block, it's crucial that we reinforce the understanding that we are the captain of our own ships, and that nobody has the right to judge us.
Knowing the 4 most common damaging childhood experiences isn't enough though.
It's crucial to know which one is affecting you most. The tricky thing is, because these experiences exist in yur subconscious minds, it's hard to figure this out by ourselves – in fact, the truth may be the complete opposite of what we think.
That's why my friend Natalie created her free 30-second quiz that, through a series of carefully arranged questions, helps you identify the primary childhood experience that is likely to be the most damaging to your career, finances and life.
(Or as she calls it, your Negative Childhood Imprint.)
After the quiz, you'll receive a personalized video report detailing your results, plus detailed action steps for erasing this Negative Childhood Imprint from your mind:
I especially love the timing with the fireworks in the background! 🙂
Of the four types of Negative Childhood Imprints, which one is affecting you the most?
I follow him on Facebook, and he posted something recently that really resonated with me. Enough so, that I felt like elaborating on it:
“God‘s Three Answers to Prayers”
- Not yet.
- I have something better in mind.
It really gave me pause – how often do we TRULY believe that God is answering our prayers?
We all love #1 and we can accept #2. But #3?
Nobody likes asking and not receiving. Of course if we KNEW something better was coming, we would be able to more easily accept not getting what we wanted. Especially if we knew what that something better actually was. 🙂
Life doesn’t always work that way, though. And no matter how much we study manifesting and the Law of Attraction, there remains some immutable truths: We don’t always get what we want.
Is it because we’re bad at manifesting? Is it because the Law of Attraction isn’t a law… and doesn’t work 100% of the time?
Those questions might run through your mind. That’s normal. It’s also taking us away from the real opportunity here:
To experience Divine support.
To know that we ARE taken care of one way or another. It may not be how we want to be taken care of, yet we are still taken care of.
(and by all means, don’t blindly adopt this idea without testing it & trying it out in your life)
Is that the real question of OUTER support depends on our INNER support. When we’re solid within ourselves and we seek to perceive our inner & outer worlds accurately, we empower the world around us to support us more effectively.
For example: If we can’t ask for what we want, it’s nearly impossible for it to be provided to us.
Or if our perception is so blocked that we can’t accept the *possiblity* that an unanswered prayer means something better is coming, then we can’t RECEIVE that possibility. The answer to our prayers might come, but our minds would be closed off to it and miss the opportunity.
Just like this parable about a drowning man…
While out to sea, a large boat became shipwrecked and there was only a single survivor. This man prayed and asked God to save his life. Soon thereafter, another boat came by and offered the man some help.
“No thanks,” he said. “I’m waiting for God to save me.”
The men on the boat shrugged their shoulders and continued. As the man became more deeply concerned, another boat came by. Again, the people aboard offered this man some help, and again he politely decline. “I’m waiting for God to save me,” he said again.
After some time, the man began to lose his faith, and soon after that he died. Upon reaching Heaven, he had a chance to speak with God briefly.
“Why did you let me die? Why didn’t you answer my prayers?”
“Actually, I sent you two boats.”
The man prayed for GOD, and what he received was two of God’s messengers.
My reflection questions for you:
- Are there any messengers you might have missed because they didn’t look the way you expected?
- If you truly believed that unanswered prayers would lead to something better, how might you live your life differently?
- What is one small action you can take today to show God that you completely trust… “this or something better”?
As we come upon the new year, it’s a time when most of us make resolutions…
Whether it’s to change some of our lifestyle habits that no longer serve us…
Negative thinking that gets in the way of achieving our dreams…
Or to let go of something in the past and make room for new joys and gifts.
No matter what you may be resolving, and even if you’re not making any, I have a short yet powerful blessing to support you in this new year.
Earlier this year, I was asked a special favor: To write the main wedding reading for a couple whom I had never met.
As I reflected on this request, a request in most cases I’d have denied (I simply don’t have the time or bandwidth to continually grant all the requests people make), this one landed in my heart and I said yes.
I had a few months, yet no words came. I trusted the Divine to flow through me when the time was right…
Right up until the deadline. The very last day I had to send over the reading. Still no words (unless you count the email reminding me it was the last day!)
As I started to write, the words wouldn’t flow. That’s when I remembered what I teach about Writer’s Block within my Conscious Chronicling program: When the words don’t flow, it just means something isn’t aligned. Writer’s block is nothing more than not being tuned in to the Present moment completely.
I paused and realized the answer was so simple: Instead of writing, I was to speak the words. I started the voice recorder on my phone, and here is the final version of what the Divine flowed through me. I hope you enjoy it, and that it supports you in your own adventures with love…
“Rise Into Love” © Chris Cade 2015
You are a beautiful example of what a committed loving partnership looks like. And until today, both of you have continued to fall in love with one another. In doing so, it can be easy to believe that you are separate individuals falling in love together and taking the next step. That’s one way to see things.
Look deeper. Look deeper at how both of you will rise into love.
You may think you came together in marriage for specific reasons. Perhaps because your wife is compassionate, playful, and generous. Or because your husband is a true romantic who balances the gifts and needs of family with being a caring and attentive partner.
Those reasons are valid. They are also just the beginning. Let’s rise further…
Right now, notice the physical sensations in your heart. Notice what love feels like in this moment.
This sensation is your anchor in marriage. It is a reminder of the love that you both bring forth.
When you remember this moment, it is not important to remember who you married or even why. Both of those will change. Just remember this direct experience of love in your hearts.
Remember to rise into love. Remember to see the best in your spouse. You will show the world and yourselves what an extraordinary marriage looks like when love is your anchor. When you stop falling and you start rising.
You will also show yourselves what the two of you can cocreate when love is at the center of all you do and who you choose to be.
Rise into love.
As you know, there will also be difficult times. There will be times when your minds try to push each other away. To push you apart. This is what happens when you love deeply with all of your being. Because when you love with full hearts, all that is not love will try to stop you. All that is not true and authentic will try to get in the way. This comes from fear.
In your marriage, choose to rise above this fear. Know that when it shows up -and it will- you can choose to see things differently. In those moments, ask yourselves one simple question:
What will liberate the most love right now?
Ask this, and you will discover gifts previously unimaginable.
Seek not to own or control your partner. Marriage is not a license to possess. Do not even seek to get your needs met. Instead ask yourselves: how will you rise into love and meet your spouse’s true needs?
These are not likely to be the needs that you imagine. Maybe not even the ones that you speak to one another. They arise from the depths within each of you.
Your true needs are the treasures that this marriage empowers you to find, honor, and give. They empower you to bring out the unique best in one another. They support you to rise into love more than you can possibly imagine.
The two of you are together for a reason. Live that reason. Be that reason. And always above all else, never assume you know what that reason is.
The mystery of love will show you why you are together in marriage. Your only job in marriage, if there were one, is to ask the questions that deepen your love for one another. Every single day, ask questions that bring out the best in each other and in your marriage. Ask questions that liberate the most love.
Now look into each others eyes again. Notice the sensations of love in your heart. Feel your heart expand until it includes your spouse.
This is the true love that you are marrying into. This is the true love that you are rising into.
Together, rise into this love.
After reading this, other people have asked if they may use this reading at a wedding they are speaking at…
To every person who has this heartfelt response, I am deeply honored for your connection to this work and am grateful to support you in sharing it with your loved ones. You may use it under two conditions: First, is that it is not modified in any way (except for my recommendation below) and secondly is that I am acknowledged as the author. That said, just remember to make the following minor changes and you’re good to go! 🙂
Instead of wife/husband in the following paragraph, use the actual names of the bride and groom (or bride/bride or groom/groom if appropriate):
You may think you came together in marriage for specific reasons. Perhaps because BRIDE’S NAME is compassionate, playful, and generous. Or because GROOM’S NAME is a true romantic who balances the gifts and needs of family with being a caring and attentive partner.
Secondly, you may replace the 3 qualities “compassionate, playful, and generous” with the qualities of the bride you most admire, and the “true romantic who balances the gifts and needs of family with being a caring and attentive partner” with the qualities of the groom that you most admire. This will give the reading a more personalized feel, while still staying true to its essence.
Today I watched a very touching video about a mother who gave up her dreams of becoming a pro athlete so that she could raise her son.
And it got me wondering…
How often do we give up on our dreams (big or small)?
When I'm really honest with myself, every day I'm letting some of my dreams slide by.
Part of me is unconsciously aware of this. And occasionally it rises to my conscious surface like it did this last weekend.
I was networking with several of my friends (including Mary Morrissey's son Mat) & colleagues about how to serve you more effectively. During a lull, I wrote myself a simple question on a piece of paper:
"What is the reason why I am not accomplishing as much as I know I'm capable of?"
The answer surprised me…
So I asked myself…
"What am I scared of?"
First was a temporary lack of income. A part of me is scared that if I truly follow ALL of what I know my heart wants to create, that it means sacrificing some short-term income for long-term goals (that my mind believes are "less predictable" than the short-term income).
I asked myself again…
"What am I scared of?"
Then the REAL answer hit me.
See, I'm a single full-time father. I work when my son is at school and then I stop working. And while that is an amazing opportunity to be a great father, like all choices, it has an opportunity cost.
The voice inside me simply said:
"I'm scared that my son would feel abandoned."
(because the belief is that I'd have to work more and therefore have less time for my son)
That hit me like a ton of bricks. I had already known that part of the reason I didn't work as much as I could was to be there for my son.
My fear though, specifically, is that he'd feel abandoned. He'd feel like I wasn't a "good enough" father. That someday instead of thanking me for how I was always there for him, he'd resent me for not being there enough.
Anybody who knows me intimately would be surprised by that answer since I truly am a great father.
But the simple fact is that my mind was TRAPPED. And I didn't even see the trap until yesterday when I started looking deeper for the truth.
Maybe you're like me and wish to create more in your life?
Perhaps your dream is reaching a new level of financial abundance, elevating your health and fitness, pursuing your dream job or dream business, moving to a new city, traveling the world, finding your soulmate, or up-leveling and deepening your relationships?
But no matter how much of your precious time, money or emotional energy you put into trying to make your dream come true, you just stayed stuck right where you were?
Yeah. I hear you. Been there. Am there. Been that. Was doing that.
And I'm changing it because that I *KNOW* what's up.
You can too.
When you put so much effort towards making one of your dreams come true, but you're unable to create the results you want… this can leave you feeling frustrated, disappointed… and sometimes even embarrassed.
I know I've felt this way before. And as you can see, occasionally I still do.
The above video is the 2nd one from Mary Morrissey in her DreamBuilder video training series. After you watch Mary's video above you'll finally understand what was REALLY blocking your dream from becoming your reality (it's usually 1 of 3 things)…
And you'll know exactly how to avoid these "dream traps" when pursuing your dreams in the future. 🙂
Unstoppable in achieving our dreams…
Unstoppable in living up to our greatest potential…
And unstoppably happy. 🙂
I'm sure you've heard the saying "you can't have your cake and eat it too."
I think it's bullshit.
But until we train our minds, bodies, and spirits to go for our dreams then we'll never see past the illusion. We'll just stay stuck in limitation, lack, and frustration.
I refuse to stay trapped and stuck. It's just not worth the stress. Maybe you agree?
Surprisingly, just 10 decisions you make can predict if you'll succeed pursuing any goal or dream. They also predict if you or your family/team will even TRY to pursue a goal.
If you have a big vision for your life…
And you want to KNOW if you're likely to achieve it, be sure to get this free download from Brendon Burchard:
This is the same "predictor tool" Brendon uses with his $50,000 coaching clients.
I've read his book "Millionaire Messenger" (#1 NY Times Best-Seller). Over 30 million people have watched his videos in the last year. And my friends and colleagues all rave about him and his work.
If you find you're struggling in any of the areas of the assessment, Brendon gives TONS of insight on how to get back on track.
I'm watching (technically 'listening to') it right now, and it's REALLY good stuff.
Brendon is reminding me to focus back on what makes me feel alive, productive, engaged, and to step towards my maximum potential.
And here's some of what you'll get out of this free resource…
- #1 reason most people fail to achieve a goal
- Which factors predict success the MOST
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It’s been said by many that we are not human beings having a spiritual experience…
But rather, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
If we take this to heart, it also reminds us that our bodies are the vehicles by which we interact with the world.
Seems obvious, but it’s easy to forget. We don’t make anything happen in our lives without doing something. Even the most prominent Law of Attraction teachers tell us that no matter how strongly we believe and affirm our intentions, we must take some form of action in the world to manifest them.
This also means our emotions and energy flow have a much more important role in our lives than most of us give credit to…
(even those of us who already feel we know a LOT about the importance of emotions)
Let’s break it down…
Our bodies are made of electricity and chemicals. These are very real physical energies that need to be moving. When they are blocked, it creates cesspools within our bodies where the energy becomes stagnant and ineffective.
At first glance, it may seem to be a good thing if “joy” or “happiness” were stuck in your body. However, the thing to remember is that if emotions are not experienced and allowed, then they will become repressed or suppressed. Yes, even your happiness and joy can become repressed or suppressed.
Take for example a child who is experiencing wonderful joy and delight, but his mother is depressed. Instead of allowing and appreciating his happiness, the boy learns that it’s “not okay to be happy.”
Over time he experiences happiness less frequently and with less intensity. The overall result is that his happiness and joy become repressed. As an adult, this child will most likely not be in touch with his happiness, and therefore, his passions in life. He may even develop physical illnesses (maybe this is what happened to my friend Tristan?) to cope with all the blocked energy that remains unexperienced.
I like to use the example of a child who is happy because it’s an extreme example. The extreme example helps us bring it back into our daily lives which usually aren’t so extreme, and therefore, easier to relate to.
Though we may forget about the daily frustrations of our lives, they build up over time. They can translate into anger 😡 or sadness 😢, which then as those emotions are stuck in our bodies can be the catalysts for disease 🤒 (dis-ease).
It’s also important to note the difference between experiencing and expressing.
There have actually been studies that showed people who express their anger physically (such as hitting pillows) are more likely to have more severe anger issues.
Therefore, the answer isn’t necessarily expressing emotions. Though since emotions expressed are amplified, in the case of positive emotions like happiness and joy, expressing them can be a significant benefit.
Regardless of whether the emotion is expressed however, the key is to fully experience those emotions. This is a skill that few people have mastered.
It simply means that we are 🧘🏻 totally present 🧘🏻 in our bodies, and accepting of whatever emotion is flowing through us. We don’t deny or reject our experience. We fully accept it, even if we don’t like it.
For example, if we were feeling anger it isn’t necessary that we yell, scream, or hit pillows. What is necessary is that we fully feel the anger flowing through our bodies. That we are fully in touch with our experience. This can apply to fear, jealousy, and other ‘negative’ emotions.
The same is true with happiness and joy. 🌞
As an extreme example, suppose you were at a funeral and you had spent some time completely remembering how much joy that person brought to your life. In fact, it’s so much happiness that you feel overflowed and almost compelled to laugh or jump up and down. Still, this might not be the most appropriate time to express happiness in that way when people all around you are sobbing with tears. It might be disruptive.
Many of us would tell ourselves we “shouldn’t” feel happy in that moment.
That’s not true.
Happiness would be what’s happening. It would be real and very true to us. Therefore, the best thing we could do is totally own and accept our happiness. Appreciate it.
In other words, don’t suppress or reject your inner emotional experience simply because the outer-world context might not be able to respect and support your inner experience.
Ultimately, what we strive for is a balance in fully experiencing our emotions and expressing them appropriately. When we allow these emotions to run through us, even without “expressing” them, our bodies have a natural release of the energy. The electrical charge and chemicals can flow naturally.
By doing this, we can not only release old stuck emotions, we can also prevent new ones from becoming stuck.